Peter: Ugh. It's the guys. What do those losers want?
Lois: Losers? Those are your friends.
Peter: Nah. They're lame. Not one of them has ever vaped at a funeral.

• Permalink: Nah. They're lame. Not one of them has ever vaped at a funeral.
• Added: October 08, 2017

Stryker: Hey come over here. There's someone I want to introduce you to. 1997 George Clooney.
Peter: Wow. That's the coolest George Clooney there is.
Clooney: Hi. George Clooney. Second worst Batman.
Peter: Peter Griffin. Second best Homer.

• Permalink: Peter Griffin. Second best Homer.
• Added: October 08, 2017

Oh, Lois just texted. Burgers or meatballs for dinner? I'll text back for you. Same things, bitch, just different shapes.

Stewie [to Peter]

• Permalink: Oh, Lois just texted. Burgers or meatballs for dinner? I'll text back for you. Same things,...
• Added: October 08, 2017

Anthropologie Associate: Sir. There's nothing strange or useless enough that we don't have here at Anthropologie.
Peter: I know one thing you don't have. Black customers.
Anthropologie Associate: Aaah! I'm melting!

• Permalink: I know one thing you don't have. Black customers.
• Added: October 08, 2017