Stewie: Yes looks like someone's gone at him with a whip.
Brian: That is a perfectly valid way of saying that. Bravo master.
Stewie: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.

• Permalink: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Neil: Is this a nut free counter?
Chris: Uh I don't know, my dad's might have been on there at some point.

• Permalink: Uh I don't know, my dad's might have been on there at some point.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shut your faaaaaace.

Stewie

• Permalink: Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shit your faaaaaace.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.

• Permalink: There were three lies in that sentence.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.

• Permalink: Good boy.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!

Peter

• Permalink: Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!
• Added: April 19, 2015

He's my friend, I miss him.

Peter

• Permalink: He's my friend, I miss him.
• Added: April 19, 2015

You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.

Brian

• Permalink: You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.

• Permalink: Go ahead.
• Added: April 19, 2015

Home-Ec just got out, and I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.

Meg

• Permalink: Home-Ec just got out, and I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.
• Added: April 19, 2015