Dad, I don't know how to thank you. You've given me the greatest gift I could have ever asked for.

Quagmire

• Permalink: Dad, I don't know how to thank you. You've given me the greatest gift I could have ever asked...
• Added: May 13, 2018

C'mon, Quagmire, it's not impossible. You want impossible? Try eating local pizza with a guy from New York.

Peter

• Permalink: C'mon, Quagmire, it's not impossible. You want impossible? Try eating local pizza with a guy...
• Added: May 13, 2018

You don't know what that penis meant to me. We did everything together. Everything.

Quagmire

• Permalink: You don't know what that penis meant to me. We did everything together. Everything.
• Added: May 13, 2018

Peter: Doc. Give it to us straight. What's going on with our friend?
Dr. Hartman: Well, Mr. Griffin, there's no easy way to put this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. He's black.
Peter: Not that friend. Quagmire.
Dr. Hartman: Oh. Him.

• Permalink: Oh. Him.
• Added: May 13, 2018