Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 11 Quotes
Lois: You guys shouldn't have done this!
Stewie: Hey, any time you can celebrate the end of someone's periods.
Chris: Dad, how did you get Mom out of the house so we could decorate?
Peter: Well Chris, I constructed a very elaborate fake grocery store.
Nice throw, Casey Anthony.
Stewie
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Bonnie. I've put Stewie in the oven a bunch of times. As long as you come to your senses within 15 minutes, everything's fine.
Lois
Kent: Meg, please stop, I know your heart's in the right place, but...
Meg: Actually, it's not. It's a serious medical condition.
Dr. Hartman: [in flashback] Yeah, that's not supposed to be there, so she should always probably wear a hat.
Lois: He seems nice.
Peter: Sorry, I missed all that. I was tweeting.
Lois: And this is Meg's brother Chris.
Kent: Oh yeah, I've seen you around school. You eat with the deaf kids, right?
Chris: One of them isn't all the way deaf.
Kent: What grade are you in again?
Chris: It's still being worked out by a team of counselors.
Oh, I can't believe it! I'm going out on a date with Kent Lastname!
Meg
Meg: Hey Kent, it's Meg. From English class?
Kent: Uh...
Meg: And math class? And bio? And the Facebook campaign to get me to kill myself?
Kent: Oh, Meg! Hey, what's up?
Meg, are you asking in this day and age, when the CEO of Xerox is a woman, when the president of Brazil is a woman, even Rosie O'Donnell is a woman, whether it's appropriate for a girl to ask a boy out on a date? Of course it's appropriate! It's also sad and desperate and I would never do it, but you're not me, are you sweetie?
Lois
Honey, give me any laundry you have. I'm doing a diapers-and-Meg load.
Lois
Stewie: Ah, look at this, she's taped photographs of Virginia Woolf and Katy Perry on the inside cover, as if she's some sort of hip hybrid of those two things.
Brian: Yeah, like she could ever write "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
Stewie: "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" was not written by Virginia Woolf.
Brian: Yeah, obviously, but y'know, it's pretty much about her.
Stewie: It really isn't, Brian.
