Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 4 Quotes
Wow, Saturday Night Live! I can't think of anything more exciting... Oh my God! A water fountain! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Chris
You mean I'm going to get to meet John Belushi and Gilda Radner and Phil Hartman and Chris Farley and Horatio Sanz?
Peter [on being on SNL]
Lois: I'm not comfortable with my daughter being exploited like that.
Meg: Shut up Mom! I want to be exploited
Cleveland: Cool, Glenn! You look like Tommy Lee!
Quagmire: Well that oughta be appropriate, since I just found out I have hepatitis
Lois [reveals the new Meg]: Peter, take a look at your daughter!
Peter: Oh my god, Lois, it was twenty years ago, I'd never even heard the word "rubber"
Oh there there, let me dry those tears. [licks his fingers with Meg's tears on them] Oh, oh yes yes, your anguish sustains me
Stewie
Let me explain something to you, aight. We gotta get her half naked and put her out front center stage and that's gonna make y'all billionaires because America loves hot, white, jailbait ass
Dr. Diddy
This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my Big Wheel.
Stewie
Lois: Peter, you're really are putting away those Mentos.
Peter: Oh, these aren't Mentos, Lois. Everybody, you are looking at a guy who is going to set a new world record. I am going to eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before
Tom: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?
Peter: That freaking place was on fire?!
Tom: And there you have it. Coming up next, "Watch me shave."
Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't
Peter
In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for "Most Drugs Ever Done by a Single Human Being" died today; he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.
Tom Tucker