Fargo
Sundays 10:00 PM on FXFargo Quotes
Unseen mafioso: Leaving who in charge?
Joe Bulo: Unclear. His wife Floyd -- she's tough but, you know, a girl. And then there are the three sons: Dodd, Bear and Rye. And of course they all want their shot at the throne. Which the boys in research think provides a tactical opportunity for us to move aggressively to acquire or absorb their operation.
Unseen mafioso: And if you can't? If the current business owners resist?
Joe Bulo: We liquidate.
Unseen mafioso: Approved.
Ed: Wouldn't that be great? Me owning the shop, maybe you take over the salon one day. You know, unless we have a whole litter of kids by then.
Peggy: Yeah, that's... we talked about that. We're trying. But it takes time, you know.
Ed: Yeah, yeah, of course. Though uh... hun, "trying," I mean... Last time I checked, there's just the one way to make a baby, you know?
Peggy: We did that last weekend, didn't we?
Lou: Ordered this kit of recipe cards, saw it on the TV. So now every night we eat delicacies of the world.
Hank: Some men like that. Variety.
Lou: She put a souffle on the table last night. Perfectly good casserole -- then lit it on fire with a kitchen match.
Hank: Huh?
Lou: Which reminds me, you're invited for dinner tomorrow.
Oh, crap.
Judge
Rye: There's two ways this can go--
Judge: Is one of them the hard way?
Typewriter Salesman: So, soon as you talk to the Judge and she unfreezes the accounts, well, then we can turn on the money spigot.
Rye: The what?
Typewriter Salesman: The spigot? It's like where you hook up a hose?
Rye: What, like a fire hose?
Typewriter Salesman: ... Any hose.
Dodd: You wear short pants 'til you prove you're a man.
Rye: I'm a man.
Dodd: You're the comic in a piece of bubble gum!
Rye: Well, I mean, says you.
Rye: Well, you know, maybe I needed it for me. For something I--
Dodd: No, you earn for the family, not for yourself.
Rye: Yeah but you're the oldest, and then there's Bear, and that's the throne. What am I ever gonna be except the kid you send out for milk?
Dodd: You're a Gerhardt.
Rye: That's like Jupiter telling Pluto, "Hey, you're a planet, too."
Crew member: This is the actual field, they tell me.
Native American extra: What?
Crew member: This is the actual battlefield. Massacre at Sioux Falls. I think three hundred of your people -- braves -- died here, what, a hundred years ago?
Native American: I'm from New Jersey.
Crew member: Sure but... yeah, you're an Indian, right? So... that's gotta be, uh...
Native American: Gotta be what?
Crew member: No, I'm just saying, this battle... was the last big battle before the end of the-- Then what came after... Look, I'm a Jew so believe me I know tribulation.
Lester: Well, then, you row the rabbit across and the fox won't eat the cabbage. Then, you go back for the fox and you drop him off, put the rabbit back in the boat and go get the cabbage only this time you leave the rabbit behind and then you row the cabbage back across again the fox will not eat the cabbage and then you go back for the rabbit.
Agent Budge: That's it. See that wasn't so hard.
I never wanted to be the type to think big thoughts about the nature of things. All I ever wanted was a stack of pancakes and a V8.
Bill
Until he's dead.
Gus
