Isaac: Nigel…
Nigel: Yes, Isaac?
Isaac: Will you make me the happiest ghost on the entire property?
Nigel: No, I will make you the second happiest. Get up, so I can look my fiancée in the eye.

Sasappis: Now Alberta, you have a choice. You can accept Hetty’s apology, put this matter behind us, house harmony is restored, or we move to the punishment phase.
Alberta: Punishment phase!
Flower: You sure? You can take some time to think about it.
Alberta: Punishment phase! Your girl wants blood.

Kelsey: A little family history, “ta-da” is actually what my mom used to yell when she would take her top off on stage.
Hetty: And I am now realizing what “exotic dancer” means. So nice to have that in the gene pool.

Jay: Ooh, classy move, babe. Can I open it because Isaac can’t use his hands?
Sasappis: I know Jay is offering to help, but it feels like he’s rubbing it in.

Hetty: Your killer was my son, Thomas.
Alberta: But why would he want to kill me? I didn’t even know the man.
Thorfinn: Actually, much harder to kill person you know. Sometimes not even fun.
Hetty: Well, you might not have known the man, but he knew your man. The note, the “T” stands for Thomas. My son and your bootlegger boyfriend were lovers!

Alberta: And now I’m stuck with this pain for eternity.
Hetty: Your sister didn’t kill you!
Alberta: Yeah, I don’t want to believe it either, but the facts are what they are.
Hetty: No, I am saying your sister didn’t kill you because I actually know who did. I’ve always known.

Thorfinn: Hetty, your son throw better party than you used to.
Hetty: Of course! Everyone’s in the mood to celebrate. The stock market is roaring and there’s no end in sight.
Thomas: 1929 is sure to be the greatest year yet!
[He cheers glasses with a guest]

Jay: This is the murder board!
Isaac: This is what he’s been doing all day?
Sam: So, this took 8 hours, Jay?
Jay: It took a long time to find red string. Target was closed, Michael’s was all out, and honestly, I kinda lost track of time in Yarn Barn. That place is amazing!

Stephanie: So, what kinda music do you like?
Ralph: I’ve only heard music three times in my life.
Stephanie: Whatever. You’re so hot.
[They kiss]

Nancy: Oh, hey Stephanie. You’re awake! What are you up to?
Stephanie: I am going to take down every couple here at Woodstone. If I can’t be happy, no one can.
Nancy: Cool! I’m gonna stick my head in the fridge and smell some cheese.

Jay: Trevor’s dating Hetty? Seriously, when were you going to tell me this?!
Sam: What would you do with that information, Jay?
Jay: I don’t know. Feel included in the goings-on in my own home.

Hetty: Unfortunately, we have plans that night.
Thorfinn: But Thor not say specific night.
Hetty: Without a specific night, how are we supposed to plan anything?
Alberta: Oh, she’s good.

Ghosts Quotes

Welcome to the Woodstone B and B!


Jay: Oh my God, Pete?!
Pete: Jay? You can see me?! Gadzukes, Jay, say yes.
Jay: I don’t believe it.
Pete: I don’t either. Bring it in big fella!
[Jay passes through Pete’s ghost form]