I need this job. I’m saving up to buy a noose to hang myself.

Santana

Now everywhere I go I’m known as the girl with the raging yeast infection.

Santana

Do you know how insane you sound?

Kurt

(to April) You did the worst thing you possibly could have done. You gave me hope.

Will

I’m torn. One is black and one is Jewish.

Jake

We’re enjoying a long engagement.

Kurt

Thank you April for that wonderful lesson in female empowerment.

Will

The past is dead to me. Except for maybe just one thing.

Puck

The only thing I can see you giving birth to is a bushel of russet potatoes.

Sue

You two in the same room and there are no stitches? That’s an improvement.

Kurt

Have you noticed how hot I look in my uniform?

Puck

Some people just don’t know how to screw things.

Sam

Glee Quotes

I've got a full ride to a little school called the University of California in Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.

Jesse

She may be difficult, but boy can she sing. Bravo!

Kurt