Hey Jesse did you order scrambled eggs? Last time I checked you liked them served on people's heads

Finn

Sue: So, you're last name is Puckerman, huh?
Puck: Shalom!

I have so much more free time now that there are four hands polishing all of my fruit.

Emma

So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?

Puck

Will: What do you think of my taffy plan to raise money for Detroit
Holly: I think its as terrible has the word Brainiac. Listen, you let that crazy ex-wife of yours mess with your brain and now you think you can't dream.
Will: What should we do then?
Holly: A night of neglect.
Will: That actually sounds like my life.

Kurt: Whereas I'm spending my summer composing Pip Pip Hooray, the broadway musical about Pippa Middleton.
Sam: I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome.

Will's Father: We just sold all 17 copies of your CD!
Will's Mother: I didn't even have to show any of them my bosoms!

I realize my cultural ascendance only serves to illuminate your own banality. But, face it, I'm legend. It's happened.

Sue

[to Finn] You wanna know the thing about you that makes you special? It's not the singing or the dancing or the way you threw the ball. It's that you could move people.

Beiste

You ain't lived until you seen me in a cowboy hat!

Beiste

Do you know how insane you sound?

Kurt

My first real week in New York and I'm snowbound in Bushwick with a bunch of musical theater queens. It's like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie and this is the scene right before we all eat each other.

Santana

Glee Quotes

Quinn: Home for the holidays, just like we promised.
Finn: Guys, I...
Puck: Dude, if you start crying, I'm gonna kick your ass. Group hug!

You have seven months of your life left. Enjoy it.

Rachel [to Quinn]