Barney: And for the love of god, boobs?
Ted: Solid C Cup perky bounce
Barney: Momentary grudging respect.

Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.

Marshall

Asian girls love them some Jews.

Barney

Ted that is so romantic, I want to fill a pillow case with dead batteries and beat you with it.

Barney

Not a drag queen but you seriously have me rethinking this eye shadow.

Zoe

Ted: What's your newest scotch?
Wendy: Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch? Don't let it touch your skin.

They bonded over hockey, I guess he has a small penis, they want to double date next weekend.

Lily

Baby these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.

Marshall

Trish the secretary: Excuse me Mr. Stinson?
Barney: NOT NOW TRISH!

Dude working together is going to be legen- wait for it ...I'll send you an inter office memo with the rest because we friggin' work together!

Barney

Check it, I just drove a Pedi cab 26 blocks and I still smell incredible.

Barney

Barney says he tripped but I could have sworn he tackled me on purpose.

Ted

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.