Jane: And can I just say, you sound so sexy when you talk home decor.
Michael: Oh yeah?
Jane: Mmhmm.
Michael: 'Cause I was thinking about a mirror...
Jane: Stop it.
Michael: In the entry way.
Jane: Keep talking.
Michael: A bowl of lemons on the table for a pop of color.
Jane: Just take off your pants right now.

• Permalink: Just take off your pants right now.
• Added: November 07, 2016

And that, my friends, is how Jane and Michael got their groove back.

Narrator

• Permalink: And that, my friends, is how Jane and Michael got their groove back.
• Added: November 01, 2016

Jane: This is so stupid! I'm married. I wanted it to be gone. I don't know. I just.. I feel weird. Like... I lost something, like a part of my identity.
Xo: Yeah, I get that. And I blame the flower.
Jane: What?
Xo: It's perfect, untouched. Then crumple it up, now it's ruined.
Jane: I know I'm not ruined.
Xo: But you feel like you lost something, and you didn't. You just gained something. A whole new dimension of your life, your relationship.

• Permalink: But you feel like you lost something, and you didn't. You just gained something. A whole new...
• Added: November 01, 2016

Okay, you know what, I just need you to stay out of this, Gloria Estefan. I'm so sorry, Gloria Estefan.

• Permalink: Okay, you know what, I just need you to stay out of this, Gloria Estefan. I'm so sorry,...
• Added: November 01, 2016

Who cares? No one's even heard of this network anyway. It's the armpit of American television.

Rogelio

• Permalink: Who cares? No one's even heard of this network anyway. It's the armpit of American television.
• Added: November 01, 2016

Rogelio: The CW is interested in doing an American adaptation of The Passions of Santos.
Jane: What's The CW? Like a... like a streaming thing?
Rogelio: No, no. It's a huge network. Look it up. Amazing shows. Fabulous lineups.

• Permalink: No, no. It's a huge network. Look it up. Amazing shows. Fabulous lineups.
• Added: November 01, 2016

Celebrity friendships need to be very carefully calibrated. Someone like Paulina you ask a favor every seven years. Someone like Gloria, every 20 years. Now, Oprah... you just don't ask favors. Your best bet is to ask Gayle.

Rogelio

• Permalink: Celebrity friendships need to be very carefully calibrated. Someone like Paulina you ask a...
• Added: November 01, 2016

Rose: I've always loved you.
Luisa: Why are you talking in that creepy voice?
Rose: It wasn't supposed to be creepy, it was supposed to be sexy. See, I don't even know how to talk to you anymore.

• Permalink: It wasn't supposed to be creepy, it was supposed to be sexy. See, I don't even know how to...
• Added: November 01, 2016

That's what's been missing from your writing. You're writing romance, but romance without sex, it's just, you know... fantasy stuff.

Professor Donaldson

• Permalink: That's what's been missing from your writing. You're writing romance, but romance without...
• Added: November 01, 2016

Okay, I've had sex. I am now a person who's had sex.

• Permalink: Okay, I've had sex. I am now a person who's had sex.
• Added: November 01, 2016

Michael: I want it to be good for you.
Jane: It's gonna be perfect because it's you.

• Permalink: It's gonna be perfect because it's you.
• Added: November 01, 2016

Rafael: So you're a married virgin...
Jane: I am, yes. A married virgin with a one year old son.

• Permalink: I am, yes. A married virgin with a one year old son.
• Added: October 24, 2016