By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

You poked the bear girls! You poked him!

Phil

C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.

Luke

Prepare to feel like an old denim fest because I'm about to be-dazzling you.

Cam

We will be maintaining our dignity in the spa, thank you.

Mitchell

I know how awesome college is, that's how I got kicked out.

Haley

It's getting a little warm in here. Do you mind if we crack a window? Unless I've already done that with my head...

Mitchell [while blindfolded in the backseat of a speeding car]

I'm not gay, I'm French.

Julian

First rule of golf, shhh.

Jay

That's right, my boy's datin' her. He's datin' her real good.

Jay

You're all the porn I need.

Phil

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me