Ya' know what? As a former mall Santa, I vow to never comment on a sitting Santa, but you're a disgrace to the red and white.

Cam

• Permalink: Ya' know what? As a former mall Santa, I vow to never comment on a sitting Santa, but you're...
• Added: December 12, 2018

I took a swing at a new way to cook a turkey.

Claire

• Permalink: I took a swing at a new way to cook a turkey.
• Added: December 12, 2018

Hey, what was all that squeaking in the garage? Are the raccoons back? Damn it!

Haley

• Permalink: Hey, what was all that squeaking in the garage? Are the raccoons back? Damn it!
• Added: December 05, 2018

I'm so stressed. I wish it was the '50s when it was healthy to drink and smoke when you're pregnant.

Haley

• Permalink: I'm so stressed. I wish it was the '50s when it was healthy to drink and smoke when you're...
• Added: December 05, 2018

Don't break Alex, she's our safety net.

Luke

• Permalink: Don't break Alex, she's our safety net.
• Added: December 05, 2018

Well, there it is. I'm just glad E.T. didn't land at your house.

Cam

• Permalink: Well, there it is. I'm just glad E.T. didn't land at your house.
• Added: December 05, 2018

I've admired you for a long time and if I haven't let you know that, that's on me. And I'm cissy-gendered enough to admit it.

Jay

• Permalink: I've admired you for a long time and if I haven't let you know that, that's on me. And I'm...
• Added: November 28, 2018

Let's see those little bastards complain about that. Oh!

Principal Brown

• Permalink: Let's see those little bastards complain about that. Oh!
• Added: November 28, 2018

Phil: Do or do not, there is no try.
Mitch: Please don't Yoda me.

• Permalink: Please don't Yoda me.
• Added: November 28, 2018

I'm totally gay.

Gil

• Permalink: I'm totally gay.
• Added: November 28, 2018

You got rid of Henifer!

Mitch

• Permalink: You got rid of Henifer!
• Added: November 07, 2018

Don't Bugs Bunny me.

Gloria

• Permalink: Don't Bugs Bunny me.
• Added: November 07, 2018