Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 5 Quotes
I'm not spending any more time under fluorescent lighting than I have to.
Haley
Mitchell: Why don't we put Lily in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight?
Cam: She'll see right through that.
Mitchell: No you're thinking of Haley's shirts.
Calm down Claire, your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs out cat.
Cam
Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.
Phil
That's a library? I thought it was a church for a religion that didn't allow makeup.
Haley
Are you saying what I think you're saying? I'm Crocodile Dunphy?!
Phil
Mitchell: I'm so nervous. Are we gonna say Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit? What do we say to Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit?
Cam: Oh my God, it's so big.
Mitchell: That's a bit direct but you know he might be flattered- oh you're talking about the boat.
Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.
Mitchell: What's happening?
Cam: I don't know Google him.
Mitchell: I didn't spring for an international data plan.
Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.
Gloria
Haley: Lily what did I just say?
Lily: I don't know, something about shoes probably.
This country's number one export is hot surfers. I'm not gonna buy the first one I see, I'm still browsing.
Haley
