Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 5 Quotes
Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.
Luke [to Manny]
Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.
Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?
Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.
It's a good time to tell you I dropped Luke on his head when he was one.
Jay
Mitchell: This is how Cam's dad sees me, like some fawning damsel.
Jay: If anything, Cam's the damsel.
Mitchell: Dad! Thanks.
C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.
Luke
Back in Vietnam I had Hepatitis, still managed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for 300 soldiers. I think I can handle sauce.
Jay
This hair at a pool party? One dunk and it goes off like an airbag.
Manny
Cam: Hey we got a package from my dad!
Mitchell: No air holes in the box, that's a good sign.
Cam: Lily loved having that chicken.
Mitchell: One more time than she realized.
Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.
Phil
Mitchell: You sound just like the kid who bullied me into smoking my first cigarette.
Claire: Maybe this time you won't tell on me.
