Admiral McGee: I have to ask you a personal question. I want to know Tim's status here at NCIS.
Vance: Meaning?
Admiral McGee: Meaning I want to know if he'll ever amount to anything more than an overpaid paper pusher.

Admiral McGee: My relationship with my son is none of your damned business.
Gibbs: You make him think he's nothing. You're the one with nothing.

McGee: Boss do you think I made the right decision with my father?
Gibbs: To be the bigger man? Maybe it's time he learned from you, McGee.

Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.

Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

Maria [prospective nanny]: It was so very nice meeting you, Director. And I do hope you'll do me the honor of being governess to your lovely children. We'll play games and sing songs and...
Vance: Well that sounds great Maria but I do have a few other applicants to meet...I promise I'll let you know soon. Thank you.

Pitt: My sister's kid. Useless.
Tony: Useless. Well with a name like that, what do you expect?

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

Tony: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight.
Pitt: Sit tight for what? I just said I didn't kill him.
McGee: Until we know that's true, you're still facing a weapons charge.
Tony: Assault with a deadly Dobie.

Abby: This is nice, Ziva. It's been too long since we got to hang out.
Ziva: Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, I've just been, uh, busy lately.
Abby: Yes you have. Doing what?
Ziva: You know. Just....stuff.

Ziva: Looks like a symbol. But of what?
Abby: That could be all night finding that answer. You in?
Ziva: I'm sorry. Busy.
Abby: Right. "Stuff". I'll draft McGee.

Vance: As long as we share this bond, David, promise me: when I come to offer my perspective concerning what it is you're "catching up" on, you'll be as forthcoming as I'm about to be?
Ziva: I promise I'll try.

NCIS Quotes

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.