Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
Tom put all my records into this rectangle!
Ron
Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.
I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.
Ron
Of all my coworkers he is one of a small number of whom I do not actively root against...uh, there I go again gettin' all sappy.
Ron
Oh, Andy. You're fine, but you're simple
Donna
"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"
Ben
OK, hypothetically if you're going on a mission to, say, catch a guilty whale. And while you were catching the whale, you saw something else that may also be another whale, and you were like, "What?" But then you thought, "Maybe it's not a whale. Maybe it's a big fish, maybe it's a submarine with a face painted on it." The point is if I kill the first whale, am I technically a murderer?
Leslie
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
Ron
Oh my God, your inbox is literally filled with penises.
Chris
I want to be president someday, so I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was kind of indescribable really. I felt like I was floating. It turns out that there wasn't any marijuana in it, it was just an insanely good brownie.
Leslie
Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers.
Ron Swanson
April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.
Andy
