Craig Middlebrooks. Samantha in the boardroom, Miranda in the bedroom. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s who I am!

Craig

Scientists believe that the first human being to live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.

Chris

Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal.

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.

Andy

Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir.

Leslie

Leslie: Pawnee, the Paris of America. Pawnee, the Akron of southwest Indiana. Pawnee, welcome, German soldiers. After the Nazis took France our mayor kind of panicked. Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America. Pawnee, welcome, Vietnamese soldiers. Pawnee, engage with Zorp. For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. Pawnee, Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp. Pawnee, it's safe to be here now. Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts. That was a lie, she sued and so we had to change it. Pawnee, home of the world famous Julia Roberts lawsuit. Pawnee, welcome, Taliban soldiers. And finally, our current slogan: Pawnee, first in friendship, fourth in obesity.

Chicagooooo! The big apple!

Andy

It's f*cking milk.

Ron

Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!

Ron

Yes, the sky has land.

Ron

I'm going to get 12 eggs and part of a dead animal. Dealer's choice. Please and thank you.

Swanson

Ben: I'm Ben Wyatt and I'm running for Congress.
Leslie: That was so hot.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.