Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.

When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.

Andy

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I
will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

Chris

Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: is it a banger?

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

Leslie

April! Hey, it's me. Andy... Dwyer. Uh, this is like the 200th time I've left you a message without a response, so if you're trying to tell me something, I do not know what it is because you won't call me back.

Andy

Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants! Band name I call it! Or maybe just Fleetwood Mac.

Andy

The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.