Popular Scrubs Quotes
Turk: This is so unfair of Kelso. Everyone has gotta have a way of taking the edge off! You and I, we've got basketball. Nurse Roberts, she's got her stories.
Todd: Some guy named D.R.K. must love Miss PacMan, 'cause he's got the high score of 41 million.
Turk: D.R.K.? Dr. Kelso!
Todd: Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head.
Elliot: Don't worry, I just came to check on my patients.
J.D.: Do whatever you want, just don't come over to my area.
Elliot: You couldn't pay me to come over to your area.
J.D.: Well, I wouldn't pay you.
Elliot: Well, you don't have enough money.
J.D.: It just so happens, I have a rich uncle who'd do anything for me, but I'd
never call in that favor just to pay you to come over to my area.
J.D.'s Narration Got her!
Denise: I don't know why I keep jumping into bed with him. My confidence is shot from screwing up that spinal last week and then yesterday I misdiagnosed a ectopic pregnancy. I dunno maybe I wanted to do I knew I could do right. Like banging a dude. I'm a giant ho bag.
Elliot: No, no you're not. So is Derek a good guy?
Denise: Derek? I thought it was Eric
J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but, for the last twelve years, you've practically been like...my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
Dr. Miller: Excuse me, I need to get a, uh-
Dr. Cox: Book about supply closet etiquette? Yeah, look, I'm kinda using this area?
J.D.: What the hell just happened?
Carla: I don't know! He asked me out to dinner and I said yes! It just came out!
J.D.: Shame!
Carla: Look! Everyone thinks it's just guys who get all freaked out before the wedding, but it happens to women too! And Ronnie-
J.D.: "Ronnie"?
Carla: "Ron." Ron - he's not just some guy, J.D. He's my "what if?" guy. The one I always wondered about, the one I idealized, you know? If I go out with him and I feel nothing, you know how confident I'll feel about Turk?
J.D.: Now I want you to go. You know what that means?
J.D.'s Narration: That she's a sorceress!
Elliot: I don't get why Turk was so upset about Rowdy. He's just a creepy, stuffed, stupid, yellow, dead dog. Too many adjectives?
Molly: Well, I'm sure he's more than a pet to Turk. I mean he's basically a link to his childhood.
Carla: He bought him eight years ago at a garage sale.
Molly: Oh, well then he's just a nutter-butter.
J.D.'s Narration: Lately it seemed like Turk was being a little casual about his diabetes.
Turk: Okay, you all know the rules. I test my blood sugar, you bet high or low, and twenty-five percent goes to diabetes. Because if we all work hard, together... I can get a big-ass flat screen.
Elliot: Why are you waving? You're married.
Carla: So what? Married people can't wave now?
Elliot: You can wave like this. You can't wave like this: Mmm.
Carla: I didn't know you were a waving expert. What plans of ours did you flake on to go to that waving seminar?
Elliot: Oh, why are you asking me? Did you forget?! You big plan forgetter.
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, honey. Are you waking up?
Jordan: Why are you in such a hurry?
Dr. Cox: I'm not in any kind a hurry!
Jordan: Did you dress me?
Dr. Cox: Fine. Carla scares me, okay? She may be small, but she has very powerful legs.
J.D.: I can't believe Turk and Carla are kicking me out.
Elliot: Mm. When I was fifteen, my parents threatened to do the same thing, so I called them on it.
J.D.: They let you stay?
Elliot:: Nope. I lived with the Babcocks for two years. I didn't have a lot of rules, though, because they were really old and they thought I was a ghost.
Dr. Cox: You have kids?
Dr. Norris: One. She hates dolls.
Dr. Cox: Boy, that's a bummer.
Dr. Norris: Tell me about it.
