Popular Scrubs Quotes
Billy: Go travelin' to Texas, you know? Go line dancing with some married women that wish they weren't married. You never know what life would put in your lap when you open your arms and embrace it!
J.D.: "You'll be surprised what'll fall in your lap if you open up and embrace life..."
Carla: Okay, maybe I'm guilty of a lie of omission.
Turk: 'Cause you're a lie omitter!
Mr. Milligan: Just been so tired lately. Yesterday, when the little man and I were wrestling, he-he dropped me in ten seconds.
Tyler: I got him with a power kick.
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
Elliot: I guess I just didn't think I was doing anything wrong.
J.D.: Well obviously you did, or you woulda told me about it from the beginning.
J.D.'s Narration: That one had to sting. I really wanna look back and see if it landed, but I'll have to go back to sad face first... Oh, it landed!
Turk: Oh my God, you got that little bit of saliva on your lip that says you know something juicy!
Carla: No, I don't.
Turk: Here it comes... YES!
Carla: Oh, okay, here's the scoop!
Dr. Kelso: But lately, it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. Hell, just last week, I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone, and some kid asked me if I was lost.
J.D.: Brookstone? Were you looking for gadgets, sir?
Dr. Kelso: If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, then yeah.
J.D.: Okay...
Turk: This is so unfair of Kelso. Everyone has gotta have a way of taking the edge off! You and I, we've got basketball. Nurse Roberts, she's got her stories.
Todd: Some guy named D.R.K. must love Miss PacMan, 'cause he's got the high score of 41 million.
Turk: D.R.K.? Dr. Kelso!
Todd: Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head.
Elliot: Don't worry, I just came to check on my patients.
J.D.: Do whatever you want, just don't come over to my area.
Elliot: You couldn't pay me to come over to your area.
J.D.: Well, I wouldn't pay you.
Elliot: Well, you don't have enough money.
J.D.: It just so happens, I have a rich uncle who'd do anything for me, but I'd
never call in that favor just to pay you to come over to my area.
J.D.'s Narration Got her!
Denise: I don't know why I keep jumping into bed with him. My confidence is shot from screwing up that spinal last week and then yesterday I misdiagnosed a ectopic pregnancy. I dunno maybe I wanted to do I knew I could do right. Like banging a dude. I'm a giant ho bag.
Elliot: No, no you're not. So is Derek a good guy?
Denise: Derek? I thought it was Eric
J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but, for the last twelve years, you've practically been like...my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
J.D.: Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest, giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
Dr. Cox: Huh!
J.D.: Now, if you don't want my help, then fine, I'll back off... But only because I feel a little bit guilty.
Dr. Cox: About what?
Ted: Dr. Cox, you received four complaints about calling male residents by girl's names.
Dr. Cox: Oh-ho. JUDY!
