Dr. Kelso: What do you want, Perry?
Dr. Cox: Bob, enough of the stinking budget cuts, already!
Dr. Kelso: Noted. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to fire someone.
Dr. Cox: Oh, baloney, old man!

Turk: My wife's name's Carla.
J.D.: Yeah!
Turk: Yeah! Like Carla from the show.
J.D.: Just like it.
Mr. James: Wow...I've never actually met anyone who had the same name as a character on the show.
J.D./Turk: Really?
Mr. James: No.
J.D.: Oh, well, that's understandable...
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: I mean, there's a lot of Sams...
Turk: There's probably a lot of Carlas...

Dr. Cox: Hold your horses. Just tell me who the last person hired was, would you please?
Kenny: Looks like you folks could use a little refresher! Serving people like you who save lives every day, makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow! God bless ya! God bless ya.
Dr. Cox: I have to fire Opie, don't I?
Jordan: You think?

Elliot: Oh, Romeo, Romeo, Warum bist du Romeo? Verleugne deinen Vater und entsage deinem Namen. Oder wenn du das nicht willst, so SCHWRE hier.
Carla: Gesundheit.

Dr. Cox: All right, talent show's about to start.
Mr. James: Talent show? I'd love to see it, but I'm too tired to get out of bed.
J.D.: That sucks for you!

Mr. James: What an amazing day! A balloon ride! Lunch by the beach! And my first carnival!
Elliot: Yeah. Sorry you missed out on getting your face painted.
Mr. James: Well, they only had time to paint one more face, so I let the kid behind me go, make him stop crying.
J.D.: That was awesome!

Carla: You know, you're wrong about Turk - he has many, many talents. Yeah, he's really good at not finding five seconds to kiss his wife.
Turk: Wow! That's interesting, because you're really good at that, too!

Dr. Cox: Newbie! Almost forgot about you!
J.D.: You know what, save your breath! I'm about to get in a hot-air balloon and get Evil Knievel on my own ass! Come on, Elliot! Let's go French kiss the sun!

Dr. Cox: All right, knuckleheads! I need one of you to win this talent show!
Elliot: I can do Shakespeare in German!... In college I double majored in theatre and classic languages.
J.D.: Does that degree come with headgear and allergies?

Dr. Cox: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Jordan: Yeah! That-that-ohhhh! That we invite Muscles, here, to hang a banner in our bedroom that says "It takes three to party"?

J.D.: Besides, I defy you to find one other thing that I'm afraid of!
Janitor: Mopping time! Mopping time! It's mopping time!
(The audience whoops and cheers)
Janitor: Yes, it's mopping time, my friend! And as you know, I always like to start in the exact spot you're standing. Let's get to work.

J.D.: Okay, then, Mr. James, you're free- Wait a second, Charles James? I was watching the "Cheers" DVD the other night - are you Charles James the writer?
Mr. James: Yeah, that's me.
J.D.'s narration: Just. Stay. Calm.
J.D.: Uh, Elliot, I need to take this gentleman upstairs for some more, uh, tests.
Elliot: J.D., don't leave me here.
J.D.: This is very important! He may even need a surgical consult.

Scrubs Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes

Elliot: Wait a second! This chart isn't for Charles James, it's for James Charles! He's the one who has cancer, not you!
J.D.: And who cares about him! He's anti-Semitic!

Okay, Perry! That's it, it's over. The only act left to see is you firing that guy.

Dr. Kelso