Dr. Kelso: What do you want, Perry?
Dr. Cox: Bob, enough of the stinking budget cuts, already!
Dr. Kelso: Noted. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to fire someone.
Dr. Cox: Oh, baloney, old man!

Turk: My wife's name's Carla.
J.D.: Yeah!
Turk: Yeah! Like Carla from the show.
J.D.: Just like it.
Mr. James: Wow...I've never actually met anyone who had the same name as a character on the show.
J.D./Turk: Really?
Mr. James: No.
J.D.: Oh, well, that's understandable...
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: I mean, there's a lot of Sams...
Turk: There's probably a lot of Carlas...

Dr. Cox: Hold your horses. Just tell me who the last person hired was, would you please?
Kenny: Looks like you folks could use a little refresher! Serving people like you who save lives every day, makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow! God bless ya! God bless ya.
Dr. Cox: I have to fire Opie, don't I?
Jordan: You think?

Elliot: Oh, Romeo, Romeo, Warum bist du Romeo? Verleugne deinen Vater und entsage deinem Namen. Oder wenn du das nicht willst, so SCHWRE hier.
Carla: Gesundheit.

Dr. Cox: All right, talent show's about to start.
Mr. James: Talent show? I'd love to see it, but I'm too tired to get out of bed.
J.D.: That sucks for you!

Mr. James: What an amazing day! A balloon ride! Lunch by the beach! And my first carnival!
Elliot: Yeah. Sorry you missed out on getting your face painted.
Mr. James: Well, they only had time to paint one more face, so I let the kid behind me go, make him stop crying.
J.D.: That was awesome!

Carla: You know, you're wrong about Turk - he has many, many talents. Yeah, he's really good at not finding five seconds to kiss his wife.
Turk: Wow! That's interesting, because you're really good at that, too!

Dr. Cox: Newbie! Almost forgot about you!
J.D.: You know what, save your breath! I'm about to get in a hot-air balloon and get Evil Knievel on my own ass! Come on, Elliot! Let's go French kiss the sun!

Dr. Cox: All right, knuckleheads! I need one of you to win this talent show!
Elliot: I can do Shakespeare in German!... In college I double majored in theatre and classic languages.
J.D.: Does that degree come with headgear and allergies?

Dr. Cox: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Jordan: Yeah! That-that-ohhhh! That we invite Muscles, here, to hang a banner in our bedroom that says "It takes three to party"?

J.D.: Besides, I defy you to find one other thing that I'm afraid of!
Janitor: Mopping time! Mopping time! It's mopping time!
(The audience whoops and cheers)
Janitor: Yes, it's mopping time, my friend! And as you know, I always like to start in the exact spot you're standing. Let's get to work.

J.D.: Okay, then, Mr. James, you're free- Wait a second, Charles James? I was watching the "Cheers" DVD the other night - are you Charles James the writer?
Mr. James: Yeah, that's me.
J.D.'s narration: Just. Stay. Calm.
J.D.: Uh, Elliot, I need to take this gentleman upstairs for some more, uh, tests.
Elliot: J.D., don't leave me here.
J.D.: This is very important! He may even need a surgical consult.

Scrubs Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes

Okay, Perry! That's it, it's over. The only act left to see is you firing that guy.

Dr. Kelso

Unfortunately, around here things don't always end as neat and tidy as they do in sitcoms. Relationships aren't always magically fixed in thirty minutes - you have to work on them.

J.D.'s narration