Scrubs Season 3 Episode 4: "My Lucky Night" Quotes
Dr. Kelso: So, shall we all just agree that Dr. Steadman is our new residency director and get the hell out of here?
Dr. Steadman: If anyone wants to stop by my condo to celebrate, my husband made sangria!
Dr. Kelso: Mmmmmmmm!
Dr. Cox: Howdy, fellas. Don't ya-don't ya dare get up - I don't want to see any broken hips.
Janitor: Hey. C'mere a sec - we wanna do stuff to you.
J.D.'s Narration: Crap. The Janitor. And he's with Sloppy Joe Guy! Okay, just distract them before they do whatever they've got planned!
Janitor: We were thinkin'...
J.D.: I've got a riddle for you!
Troy: This isn't how you said it would go.
Janitor: Troy! We're listening.
J.D.: Two coins add up to thirty cents and one of them is not a nickel.
Janitor: So what are they?
J.D.: It's a riddle. You figure it out.
Janitor: Troy, get your hat. We're going to the bank
Sean: You know, it's always awkward when you run into an ex, isn't it?
Turk: Tell me about it. I don't know how J.D. and Elliot do it.
Sean: Do what?
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, no! I've got to stop this! Kick him!
J.D. kicks under the table, nearly throwing Carla out of the booth.
Carla: Oh!
Turk: You okay, baby?
Carla: Yeah...
Turk: How they have sex every year and still manage to stay friends...
Elliot: We haven't actually had a chance to talk about that yet. But thank you.
Sean: So, I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, uh, to work on this project studying the fishing industry's impact on Maui dolphins. Uh, they're an endangered species; if something isn't done soon they could actually be wiped off the face of the earth.
Turk: Mmm.
Carla: Ohh.
J.D.(yawns): Fascinating stuff, Sean.
J.D.'s Narration: It's never fun being the fifth wheel, especially when one of those wheels is Elliot's boyfriend. Still, I had decided to take the high road.
Sean: Hey, J.D., is this regular? I asked you to bring me a diet.
J.D.: That is diet... Enjoy.
J.D.'s Narration: Mwahahahahahaha! All right, that's enough.
Carla: Mmmmmmm. Notice anything different?
Turk: Your tongue went counter-clockwise!
Carla: No! Green scrubs!
Turk: Ohhhh.
Carla: I'm covering for one of the surgical nurses. We could use the extra cash, plus we get to work side-by-side for the next two whole days. Isn't that great!
Turk is horrified
Turk: So great!
Troy: Ooh! Your face is red! Like a strawbrerry!
J.D.'s Narration: Pride's a funny thing...
Janitor: Don't have kids.
Sean! Sean! Okay... Look, I know you hate long-distance relationships, but six months is nothing! I mean, it'll be hard and we'd be going a long time without sex, but I can totally go that long without sex! Sean, I am a sex camel!
Elliot
Elliot: Laverne, did you ever notice that in hospitals, even though you're surrounded by like hundreds of people, it's still so easy to get lost in your own thoughts?
Laverne: Have you been drinkin'?
J.D.: You can't make me feel guilty for asking for help. That's just the way the world works, okay? A-and you know what? Most people actually like helping out the people around them. Take Carla, for instance! Don't you think she'd do anything in the world to help out Turk, no matter what the situation?
Carla: Look! He didn't apologize! So just back the hell off, okay! He messes up and I'm the one who gets...
You know what? Okay? This never would have happened if my Hairmet hadn't gotten stolen at your stupid suck-up fest last night! Now, I took the liberty of writing the recommendation you promised me. All you have to do is sign right below where it says, "He makes me proud to be a doctor," and right above where it says, "P.S. He ain't too hard on the eyes, either!"
J.D.
Dr. Cox: Tell me this, there, pippy: Are you allergic to bee stings?
J.D.: I don't know. Why?
Dr. Cox: Oh, it's just that it looks so painful and possibly infected that I must flick it!
