Scrubs Season 4 Episode 3: "My New Game" Quotes
Carla: So are you guys gonna go out tonight?
Turk: No, we're gonna stay in.
Carla: Well, I'll be in the bedroom with all the straight people.
Molly: Obviously for your ex-wife, just the illusion of hair is important. Excuse me.
Ted: So you're saying it had nothing to do with my impotence?
J.D.: Hey, Elliot! Hey, I want to talk to you about this whole chief resident thing.
Elliot: What about it?
J.D.: Well, as you may have heard from the loudspeaker, some residents, the janitor, my mother, your mother, and a...a coma patient, um, I'm being referred to as the "co-" chief resident. I think we should either both go with "co-chief" or "chief." Don't you...co-agree?
Lonnie: Excuse me. We're working up this patient for a hypercoagulable state with a prolonged PTT? What's our next step?
J.D.: Well, that's easy, Lonnie, what you want to do-
Lonnie: I'd like my answer from the chief resident.
J.D.: We're both chief residents. Isn't that right, Dr. Reid?
Elliot: With a prolonged PTT, you'd want to do a one-to-one mixing study.
Lonnie: 'S why she's the chief. You're the co-chief.
J.D.: Shut up, Lonnie!
Lonnie: You shut up!
Molly: Look, why don't you just talk to her.
Dr. Cox: Mm-hm. Why don't you just-
Molly: Mind my own business. I know, your life is your life, and it's not my job to fix it, unless of course you ask me to. And, man, would I get in there, 'cause I'm a good shrink and you, my friend, are a walking disaster.
Carla: Miss Myers is ready to have her bandages removed now.
Dr. Cox: Who do you mean, dashboard-face?
Carla: Yeah, I think she prefers "Miss Myers."
Dr. Cox: Well then she probably shouldn't be checking her e-mail while she's driving ninety miles an hour.
Turk: Look, I gotta go. I've got a new attending and he hates it when we're late. Plus he's a question-talker.
J.D.: What's a question-talker?
Dr. Lemmon: Do I want you to be on time, Dr. Turk? Yes I do. Am I going to remember this? Of course I am.
J.D.'s Narration: It felt good cheering Turk up. See, now that I'm chief studly, I was making a lot more money than him. Needless to say it was a time to be extra sensitive.
J.D.: Hey, you remember how I make more money than you now?
Turk: Yeah?
J.D.: Here's five bucks for remembering.
Turk: What's up with these rocks!?
J.D.: HAH! You've been graveled!
Turk: "Graveled"??
J.D.: Yeah, it's a new game I made up this morning when I had rocks in my shoes.
Turk: I like it.
J.D.: Better than Play-Doh Pants?
Turk: Play-Doh Pants became all about the money.
Molly: Dr. Cox, I was wondering if we could talk about Miss Myers in my office?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I make it a point to never enter a shrink's office unless I'm planning on grossly overpaying somebody for telling me something that I already know.
Molly: Look, you're obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage-
Dr. Cox: Something I already know, what do I owe? Will ten bucks cover it?
J.D.: Oh my God! Dude! I doubted you for a second, why are you so mad?
Turk: Maybe I needed you to believe in me!
Carla: I believe in you, baby.
Turk: Yeah, but we're married - that doesn't count.
J.D.: So! How you guys gonna celebrate your divorce?
Turk: By not inviting you!
