Scrubs Season 3 Episode 10: "My Rule of Thumb" Quotes
Dr. Kelso: See this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey Bobo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science, and I don't mean medical science. I mean NASA, 'cause when those buzzcuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well by-gum you know they're gonna say, 'Aww shucks! That's what it is!'
Hey champ. What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?
Dr. Kelso
Now, even though I won't be performing the transplant, I am a key member of the surgical team. It's too complicated to explain what it is I do, but in layman's terms I... I guess you'd call it "watching."
Turk
Elliot: Ha! What a rush! I mean, I have never slept with a prostitute before, but if it is half as much fun as buying one, sign me up!
Cop: Hey! Quiet down back there!
Elliot: This is so exciting! The closest I've ever come to breaking the law was in sixth grade, when Alex Peterson sold his mom's Virginia Slims out of his guest house.
Carla: Wow! Was he a Blood or a Crip?
Elliot: He was Lutheran.
Dr. Cox: Lookit, here's the rule, there, porn-star: The moment her toothbrush hits your sink, you've got yourself a permanent roomie.
J.D.: There'll be toilet paper everywhere!
J.D.: Hey, Laverne, my girlfriend's coming by; would you mind giving her the keys to my apartment?
Laverne: You know, I shacked up with a man before I was married, too. His name was Jesus.
Elliot: Our generation has the exact same morals and values as yours.
Carla: Come on, Elliot. Let's go find ourselves a man-whore!
J.D.: Well, your kidneys healed up enough to release you, but no sparring in karate class for two months.
Randall: Two months!? That's a real punch in the crotch!
J.D.: Randall, could you stop using that expression? Because I can't get it out of my head.
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and pass, and here's why: You're a typical surgeon, and as a rule you guys are insensitive and egotistical and you have the sense of humor of about a fourth grader.
Turk: That's just not true.
Todd: Who wants to touch my giant balls?
Turk: How was the liquor store, big guy?
Dr. Cox: What're you talking about?
Turk: Your six-pack. Much love!
Dr. Cox: I don't know what you're talking about, there, butch. I don't know if you're sucking up to me or making a pass at me, but I say you skip it and we continue in our state of mutual disdain.
Turk: Dr. Cox, you got it all wrong, man! I don't disdain you! It's quite the opposite - I "dain" you. Yeah. I think if you get to know me better, you just might "dain" me, too.
Dr. Cox: Here that's interesting. Of course, it's gibberish, but it's-it's interesting nonetheless.
J.D.: Isn't it great being so comfortable with someone, you don't have to talk?
Danni: Hmm.
J.D.: Anyway, the point is, silence is awesome.
Powerful tiny fists...
J.D.
