I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were when I was drunk.

Jody

• Permalink: I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were whe...
• Added: March 04, 2012

How do you do that? The nice thing?

Grammy [to Sheila]

• Permalink: How do you do that? The nice thing?
• Added: March 04, 2012

My testicles have never been my ally.

Kevin

• Permalink: My testicles have never been my ally.
• Added: March 04, 2012

Lip: Go learn your state capitals.
Fiona: Go f*ck yourself.

• Permalink: Go learn your state capitals. Go f*ck yourself.
• Added: March 04, 2012

He was on the bottom bucking like a horse who knows it's going to the glue factory.

Frank

• Permalink: He was on the bottom bucking like a horse who knows it's going t...
• Added: March 04, 2012

Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended.

Frank

• Permalink: Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended.
• Added: March 04, 2012

Figure out that chick sitting on MY sofa wearing YOUR wedding ring and then we'll talk.

Fiona [to Steve]

• Permalink: Figure out that chick sitting on MY sofa wearing YOUR wedding ri...
• Added: March 04, 2012

I don't get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them?

Carl

• Permalink: I don't get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get...
• Added: March 04, 2012

Steve: I love you.
Fiona: Don't.

• Permalink: I love you. Don't.
• Added: February 19, 2012

I'm sick of living in your shadow.

Ian [to Lip]

• Permalink: I'm sick of living in your shadow.
• Added: February 19, 2012

I never thought I'd say this but you were right.

Fiona [to Frank]

• Permalink: I never thought I'd say this but you were right.
• Added: February 19, 2012

She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, what's more personal than that?

Frank

• Permalink: She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, wh...
• Added: February 19, 2012