South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite South Park Quotes
Liane: The babysitter's here, come on downstairs.
Cartman: But, Mo-om, I'm playing Wild, Wild We-est!
Liane: I have to leave soon, Eric.
Cartman: But Ma-a-am! Me and Artemus Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Selma Hyea-a-ak!
(over a megaphone) Attention cult people, do not commit mass suicide. There are so many reason's not to kill yourselves. Flowers for instance and back rubs.
ATF Leader
Hey Stan, why I sure am glad you're here, because now we'll have even more fun then we... then we was having before. We were having an awfully good time before you showed up however.
Butters
Stan: But you know, I learned something today. I used to call you guys 'Melvins,' but you're just kids, like me. We separate you in school because you talk different, or you study too hard, but we've proven tonight that we can all get along.
Butters: So you mean we can stay friends, Stan? Wouldn't that be swell, huh?
Kyle: (Walks up) Dude, I'm glad to see you. You would not believe the night I had.
Stan: You? You think you had a bad night; I had to hang out all night with these freaking Melvins!
Gerald: Did you, or did you not, hear my client being called an a*s-sucker?!
Mr. Garrison: Yes.
Gerald: And you did nothing.
Mr. Garrison: Well, he is a little a*s-sucker.
Gerald Broflovski: Principle Victoria are you aware that my client was being harassed at your school?
Principal Victoria: Well not any more than any other student.
Gerald Broflovski: So you admit that harassment goes on?
Principal Victoria: I don't know.
Gerald Broflovski: You don't know, Your the principal!
Principal Victoria: I can't be around them every second.
Gerald Broflovski: So it does go on!
Principal Victoria: Alright alright i killed him. I hit him over the head and I cut up the body. I tried to burn it but it wouldn't burn. Oh the smell of it. I put the legs in garbage bags and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it.
(Principal Victoria starts crying)
Principal Victoria: Oh god!
Gerald Broflovski: Principal Victoria was Eric Cartmen called an a** Sucker yes or no?
Principal Victoria: I believe so yes.
(To the adults) Why I'm awfully disappointed with you drinking and carrying on this way, why you should be ashamed of yourself. If you don't get outside right now and tell those Army guys that your not religious fantastics, there's gonna be heck to pay -- heck I tell ya.
Butters
It is only an ass. You must overcome the ass with your mind!
Sumo Master
Officer Barbrady: So what does the ATF do when religious fanatics are gonna commit mass suicide?
ATF Agent: Oh, don't worry, we won't let that happen. Even if it means we have to kill each and every one of them.
Pip: Are you sure you don't want to play Stan?
Stan: No!
Dougie: What are you. a sour puss?
Butters: You really ought play Stan, it's an awfully fun game. I've never been to England, but I bet the people are real nice. Are people nice in England Pip? I bet they are, huh? They got those big noses and all.
Great party Mr. Mackey. Mr. Hat just grabbed Principal Victoria's ass.
Mr. Garrison
(while boxing Tweek) What you got bee-och?
Ned
