South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Quotes
We're so glad you spent your time with us while we slaughtered our way through nature's guts come again and stay a while we'll kill a lot more living things and make them bleed.
The 'Huntin and Killin' theme song
Kyle: We're sorry for turning Ned into a vegetable.
Jimbo: Ah, he'll be fine. I'll just take him home and show him some good hardcore porn and he'll snap right out if it.
Jesus: In our competition for ratings, we all lost sight of why we got into showbusiness in the first place.
Ned: Yeah. Titties and beer.
Jesus: Actually, I was referring more to the pursuit of truth...
(During Mr. Garrison's Vietnam flashback)
Troop: Ok, who's taking a shower first?
Rest of the Troops: OOOOO OOO ME ME!
Good job, Ned! Now they won't starve!
</i> Jimbo
Vietnam was more like shoving shards of broken glass up your ass and sitting in a tub of tabasco sauce fun.
Jimbo
Cartman: (while in a dress) Why do I have to be the old lady?
Kyle: Because your fat and all old ladies are too!
Cartman: Hey!
Whoa, Dude. I don't take drugs and worship Satan!
Stan
Shut the f**k up!!! Jesus, what is wrong with you people?!
Jesus
Jesus: Welcome back. Now, Jimbo, would you please tell me why your nephew do stuff like this to you?
Jimbo: Well, I'll tell you, Jesus... It's because he takes drugs and he worships the devil!
(The people in the audience gasp.)
People in audience: (chanting) Jesus! Jesus!
Jesus: Wow, Stanley! Now your uncle sounds really worried for you!
Stan: Well, I only did it because he... MOLESTED me!
(The people in the audience gasp again.)
Jimbo: Why, you little piece of crap...!
Stan: You big piece of crap!
Cartman: That's it! Now I'm all pissed off! (Cartman throws a chair at Ned) Take that, hippie!
Jimbo: Hey!
Producer: Our ratings have gone up to twenty people.
Jimbo: Does that mean we get more money?
Producer: No, but I do!
Cartman: I love you guys.
[A long pause as Stan and Kyle stare at Cartman]
Cartman: Ah, screw you guys.
