That's the thing; I'm not better than the work. I'm a shadow person, and I like it!

Sandra

• Permalink: That's the thing; I'm not better than the work. I'm a shadow person, and I like it!
• Added: March 11, 2021

Cheyenne: I was calling you guys for a while. Where were you?
Jonah: Uh, well, we were on a break because we deserved one today.

• Permalink: Uh, well, we were on a break because we deserved one today.
• Added: March 11, 2021

Garrett: Hey, guys, there's a bunch of water in the hallway.
Dina: Yeah, we're aware.
Cheyenne: IT'S PEE-PEE WATER, YOU CAN GET HEP!
Garrett: Ew.
Mateo: Oh my god!
Dina: No one is going to get hepatitis! I am almost sure of it!

• Permalink: No one is going to get hepatitis! I am almost sure of it!
• Added: March 11, 2021

Sandra: Hey. Don't get down on yourself. So, we got put in the back. It doesn't mean we're worthless.
Jonah: No, I know, you're right, I just --
Sandra: It just means we're back-of-house people. Strong, silent, shadow people. The rejects. The freaks.

• Permalink: Strong, silent, shadow people. The rejects. The freaks
• Added: March 11, 2021

This wouldn't be happening if the customers could see my whole face. You know, the top half raises questions, but the bottom half answers them all.

Jonah

• Permalink: You know, the top half raises questions, but the bottom half answers them all.
• Added: March 11, 2021

Cheyenne: Wait, so what kind of problems are we supposed to be making for the customers? Like, you guys are out of cheese problems, or, oh my god, my baby was stolen problems?
Mateo: So we're supposed to stash a bunch of stolen babies in the back? Gross. Well, actually, I don't think it's that gross. Wait, do I want kids?

• Permalink: Like, you guys are out of cheese problems, or, oh my god, my baby was stolen problems?
• Added: March 11, 2021

Jonah: Check the list again.
Sandra: Well, she made the list, so she probably knows who's on it.
Justine: Yeah, Jonah, she's not gonna check it twice. She's not Santa Claus!

• Permalink: Yeah, Jonah, she's not gonna check it twice. She's not Santa Claus!
• Added: March 11, 2021

Mateo: So we haven't set a specific timeline on getting engaged, but it's probably gonna happen pretty soon.
Garrett: I feel like you only ask me how I'm doing so you could talk about your thing, but cool.

• Permalink: I feel like you only ask me how I'm doing so you could talk about your thing, but cool.
• Added: March 11, 2021

Jonah: You guys get a mom, you send her my way; I'm gonna get you that positive feedback guaranteed.
Mateo: Ew. You're gonna sleep with all the moms to get a good survey?
Jonah: No, what?!
Glenn: Jonah, please, let's keep it clean.
Dina: Glenn, we actually legally can't tell Jonah who not to sleep with, so if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break.
Jonah: I'm not... fine.

• Permalink: So if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break. I'm not... fine.
• Added: March 11, 2021

Jeff: Well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback, especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a “problem child” store.
Glenn: What?!
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing --
Dina: Well, yeah, of course, it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that! But if you intersperse them with good things we've done, or just, you know, random trivia.

• Permalink: Well, yeah, of course, it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that!
• Added: March 11, 2021

Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis.

Dina

• Permalink: Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis.
• Added: March 11, 2021