Amy: I thought I'd show up on the last day and surprise everybody.
Nia: That's so nice! What's the surprise?
Amy: Um, just me.
Nia: Oh. I thought it would be like, donuts or something.

Amy: You know, when I first met you, I thought you were the most annoying person I'd ever met. With your moments of beauty, seize the day crap like you'd watched Dead Poet's Society too many times.
Jonah: Shows what you know; you can't watch Dead Poet's Society too many times.
Amy: I hated how cheesy you were. I hated how woke you were; I hated how often you used the word “artisan.” But most of all, I hated how you believed that life could be better than it was. And yet, here we are. And my life is so much better than it was. Because of you.

Attention shoppers, please bring your final purchases up to checkout, 'cause this store is about to close forever. On behalf of everyone here at Cloud 9, I'd just like to say, BUH-BYE! Sorry, that shouldn't be the last thing I say. Twenty years of announcements. I mean, I'm not a sentimental guy; that's not my thing. But it did just occur to me that this is... this is the end. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a job. I mean, if jobs were fun, they wouldn't pay us to do it, but occasionally there were moments that weren't so bad. Memories are the only things I can remember right now. You know, most jobs suck ninety-nine percent of the time, so you really... you really gotta enjoy those moments that don't. Those bits of fun you have during downtime. Or an interesting conversation with a co-worker. Or something happens that you can laugh about later. Or you do something that you're actually proud of. If you're lucky, maybe you even get to be friends with a co-worker or two along the way. Not sure what else you could want at a job. At any rate, thank you for shopping with us. Cloud 9 is now closed.


Jonah: Look, you don't have to apologize to me for not wanting to marry me.
Amy: No, it wasn't even about that! I just, I think that, like, my brain shortcircuited. You know, suddenly I had all these options for the first time in my life, and I was like, “Yay! I get to decide what I want! But wait, like, how do I decide what I want?”
Jonah: Yeah, welcome to the world of privilege.
Amy: It's very hard on this side of things. Why didn't you warn me?

When you think about it, a store like this is actually pretty incredible, you know? You help people do their homework, and find their styles, and feed their grandchildren. You know, there's... there's magic in that. I don't know, people -- people always talk about going out and finding something special, but maybe -- maybe we don't have to look that hard, you know? Maybe everything is special.


Glenn: You know Mateo, it's funny. You're undocumented, and I'm over sixty, and America doesn't want either of us to work anymore.
Mateo: Right, but I'm under constant fear of deportation, and you get discounts at movie theaters, so.
Glenn: Not new releases.
Mateo: Wow. Must be awful to live in terror of spoilers.

Dina: You're not thinking about getting back on that merry-go-round, are you? Is this like, uh, you break it you bought it situation?
Amy: Dina! It's not like that. No, it's just, once I got out to California, everything just felt... I don't know, I think I... I think I made a mistake not marrying Jonah.
Sandra: YA THINK? I can't.
Dina: She's been pretty upset too.

We keep trying to show everybody that we're the perfect store, and the truth is, we're not. Okay, we're just us. But we're here every single day. When it rains, when it snows, when it tornadoes. When there's a plague, and you're all safe at home except for when you come here to cough, we're here! Just trying to get you what you need, and all we want is to keep doing that.


Amy: Look, I know that the foot thing is bad; I'm not trying to say that it's not, but you can't close this store. You just, you can't. I don't have a good reason why, but these people are my family. I grew up here; I spent half of my life --
Meghan: Amy, we're not closing this one.
Amy: What? Really?
Meghan: It has great square footage, nice and central; it'll make a perfect fulfillment center.
Amy: A fulfillment center? So, it's not going to be a store anymore? Well, what about everybody's jobs?
Meghan: Well, I'm sure they'll keep a handful of people, but...
Amy: No. You can't just do this to us.
Meghan: Well, Amy, you'll keep your job.
Amy: No, I won't. 'Cause I quit.

Cheyenne: Okay, guys, come on. Obviously, Jonah's got some ideas; we haven't even let him talk! Jonah.
Jonah: I mean, I'm not sure that there's anything that we can do. I'm just trying to be realistic. I mean, we've been flattened by these guys over and over. I just... yeah, I don't know what to say.
Cheyenne: Uh, hey, I'm not sure that's an idea as so much as a downer, so maybe next time, just don't stop the meeting if you don't have anything.
Jonah: Yeah, my bad.

Sandra: You think she'd be cool with paying you cash under the table?
Mateo: Of course, that's how all rich people pay their immigrants. You think Dianne Wiest has paid a payroll tax her entire life?

Jonah: You good, Glenn?
Glenn: No, I'm not good! Tell me, how do you think he removed them? Do you think maybe they just fell off like acorns?
Jonah: You know what, buddy? Maybe.

Superstore Quotes

It was nice of corporate to wait an entire week before they reminded us we're just as replaceable as Mateo.


Jonah: I think he likes Taylor Swift.
Cheyenne: No, he's back to hating her again.