SurrealEstate
Fridays 10:00 PM on SyFySurrealEstate Quotes
Zooey: So, here's the thing. I still cannot fathom for the life of me why Luke hired you. I mean, Phil has those amazing research chops, and August? He can duct tape a Kitchen Aid mixer to a walkie-talkie and use it to summon a Sumerian trickster god. Me? Well, it's self-explanatory. But why you?
Susan: I'm a closer. That's another way of saying I'm profit. You're overhead.
Luke: Zooey! It's your lucky day. You get to drive Susan up to the coast.
Zooey: And leave her for dead, right?
Luke: This is why we don't have HR.
I thought you said famous farts.
Zooey
Harper: Sweet God. No! It's happening again!
Luke: Right. The wind from hell. Or, maybe, the Dyson cool tower up there. You've got a remote in your pocket. Either that, or you touched your butt for another reason that is absolutely not my business.
Luke: Don't even ask.
Zooey: That should be our slogan.
Harper: You some kind of ghost hunter?
Luke: I'm a real estate guy.
Harper: Who the hell are you?
Luke: I'm the guy who's going to sell your cottage. I came to see if it's supernaturally compromised, but I think the only compromising factor is you.
Shiplap ceiling is original. Kitchen is not fancy but functional. You might want to lose a few of these knives unless you're planning on selling it to the Borgias.
Luke
Luke: What were you doing in the attic.
Susan: The little girl said she left her doll up there.
Zooey: Wait. And you believed her?
Susan: She's dead, right? Why would she lie?
Cindy: I don't like this game.
Luke: No, you'd rather play kids' games, games you can win. That's really pathetic. You're too stupid and you're not capable of playing with adults.
Cindy: You'd be surprised what I'm capable of.
Luke: Go ahead. It's your move. [she moves] WRONG, STUPID! The rook can only move this way and this way. Geez. You're like an insult to nine-year-old girls everywhere. You know, you almost had me for a while. First, I thought you were this little, lost girl with zero fashion sense who's searching for light. And then I thought you were this badass demon who was out to kick ass and eat lives. I hardly would have worked up a sweat if I'd known I was up against Casper's not very bright niece, whose only superpower is emotional instability and Candyland.
My way is not always perfect, but it's so much better than everybody else's! I said that out loud, didn't I?
Susan
Susan: August! I saw her. A, a little girl.
August: If one works at Yellowstone National Park, one should not be surprised to encounter a bear every once in a while.
