Ted Lasso
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Ted Lasso Quotes
Higgins: Ted, what are your thoughts on therapy?
Ted: Uh, general apprehension and a modest Midwestern skepticism. Why do you ask?
You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by lightning. Don't you dare settle for fine.
Roy
Rebecca: Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Ted?
Ted: I do. But more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.
Rebecca: Would you like to take a tour?
Ted: Yeah; I'd love to see Abbey Road.
Rebecca: Of the club.
Ted: Yeah! Let's start there.
Hey, takin' on a challenge is a lot like ridin' a horse. If you're comfortable while you're doin' it, you're probably doin' it wrong.
Ted: We're supposed to be meetin' with a Rebecca Welton.
Nate: Yeah, that's where I'm taking you.
Ted: Oh! Look at this guy, one step ahead. Hey, what's your name, by the way?
Nate: Me?
Ted: Yeah.
Nate: No one ever asks my name.
Ted: [anticipating] I mean, whenever you're ready.
Nate: Oh! It's Nathan.
Rebecca: How do you take your tea?
Ted: Well, usually I take it right back to the counter because someone has made a horrible mistake, but when in Rome, right? [accepts the cup] Well, look at that. [slurps]
Rebecca: Well?
Ted: You know, I always thought that tea was going to taste like hot brown water, and you know what? I was right. It's horrible. No thank you.
Rebecca: Welcome to England!
George: I love what you done with the place. Did you do it yourself, or did you get some pouf to help ya?
Rebecca: I could ask the same of your hair.
Ted: I'll say this though, I really enjoyed getting to spend this time with you, Trent.
Trent: You actually mean that, don't you?
Keeley: Holy shit, Rebecca! Are those your real tits? I feel like a teenage boy. I can't stop staring at them! Where did you get those?
Rebecca: My mum!
Keeley: I can't believe you stopped this from running. I would have shown everyone!
Rebecca: Well, the press are never awful to men. No one ever pays a fortune for a photo of a naked man on a yacht in Minorca a week after his divorce.
Keeley: Whoa. That's like a very specific scenario. Oh my God. That means there's a picture of you naked on a yacht. Can I see it? Is in here? Oh, come on, you wouldn't have said anything if you weren't dying to show someone. Please?
Jamie: What? You want me to run decoy?
Ted: Yeah, that's right!
Jamie: It's a joke. Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny.
Ted: That true?
Roy: Um, agree to disagree. I find it hilarious. I thought it's funny than Step Brothers.
Ted: High praise.
Roy: That scene where the bunkbed collapses. I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, but then I just saw that, and now I'm going to have to rethink my order of what I think is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Ted: Yeah, that's when sports and art combine, as far as I'm concerned. Alright, let's run it again! Let's go!
