The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.
Sheldon
If we're changing topics, I believe I have dibs with the capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo.
Sheldon
Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.
Sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talk to me since the eleventh grade because no matter how much you apologize you can't go back and un-dryhump someone's boyfriend.
Penny
I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.
Sheldon
Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.
That was an experiment to determine at what concentration does food start tasting moth-y.
Sheldon
And to think! I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you!
Sheldon
Leonard: You put moths in my food!?
Sheldon: For science.
You're far too short to be Darth Vader. You're much more likely to be a turncoat Ewok.
Sheldon
I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.
Wolowitz
This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.
Wolowitz
