The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Wolowitz: I took a scuba diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: That's too bad.
Wolowitz: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit? Boy's large?
Wolowitz: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.
Sheldon: Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard: Sometimes you movements are so lifelike I forget you're not a real boy.
Wolowitz: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.
Leonard: Why would you want a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
Sheldon: They do some of their best work at night.
Wolowitz: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
If we lived in the world where slow moving xenon produced light youd be correct. Also, pigs would fly, my derriere would produce cotton candy, and the Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.
Sheldon
Leonard: ...and when she died, they ate her.
Sheldon: You don't have to sell me on cats, I'm already a fan!
Leonard: So, this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat.
Amy (to Sheldon): You're right. He's a festival of humdrum chitchat.
Leonard: Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up.
Wolowitz: Um, tell us about your work, Amy.
Amy: I doubt you'd understand. Sheldon tells me you only have a master's degree.
Wolowitz: Raj, do you have any questions for Amy?
Leonard: Did you guys see the paper in the American Physics Journal on supersolids? It's pretty interesting. This guy's working from a hypothesis which ...
Raj: Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert!
Leonard: What?
Raj: Don't ruin it for me, man! I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.
Amy: I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.
Sheldon: They can't function without me. I'm the social glue that holds this little group together.
Penny: I hear you broke up with Amy.
Sheldon: Breakup would imply she was my girlfriend. She was a girl who was my friend who is now not my friend.
Penny: Wow, It's like the worst country song ever.
