Okay, our first unanimous choice is opera. I did not see that coming.


Hey everybody, the bakery has sent over samples of wedding cakes. If you want to get in there before Beverly Rose has licked all of them, you better hurry.


Becky: So, did you get Aldo off the having a baby right away thing?
Harris: Usually, when he comes up with an idea, he gets distracted by something else and forgets about it. So I got him a 2000-piece Lego Taj Mahal which should buy me 10 to 15 years.

Dan: That afghan represents the hopes and dreams of our family coming to America.
Mark: I guess all the hopes and dreams fell through the holes.

Ben: Check it out. See, I’m taking out this guest bedroom with a bath, and I’m putting in a music room for me and Mark.
Becky: That’s my room.
Ben: Oh, damn. I didn’t know you were still planning on moving in with us. I’m sorry.
Becky: No, no, no, that’s fine. There’s a little Harry Potter space under the stairs. I can raise Beverly Rose there, at least until she starts hunching over. Then we can move to the tool shed. It’s taller.
Ben: Don’t be silly. My golf clubs go under the stairs.

Aldo: That’s not going to work for me.
Harris: I don’t care if it’s not going to work for you. I’m the one who has to have the baby.
Aldo: Then why are we even getting married?
Harris: You only wanted to marry me so we can have a baby right away?
Aldo: Of course, that wasn’t the only reason, but it is a big one.
Harris: Then maybe we’re getting married for different reasons. Maybe we’re not getting married at all.

I have commemorated every important event in my life in God’s presence with a priest, and now I’m getting married, and God’s not going to watch it. He’s going to do dishes until the reruns of Highway to Heaven come on. Watching with Michael Landon, I might add!


You moron! You’ve jinxed my wedding. I have NEVER written on my ring finger. As if I’ll never be happy. I’ll never get married. I’ll never be able to slap my mother with my wedding ring, so it leaves a dent.


Jackie: No, no. We have to get married together.
Darlene: Why is this such a big deal to you?
Jackie: Because I keep thinking about your Mom and how she was so worried that you and I would never be happy. And she would say, "There’s got to be somebody out there that’ll be lucky enough to get Darlene. There’s got to be somebody out there desperate and broken enough to marry Jackie."
Darlene: Okay, but Mom is gone, and she’s not going to know.
Jackie: Well, I believe that your Mom’s spirit is going to be at the wedding and I think that she would be so happy to watch us get married together.
Darlene: I think that she’s laughing her ass off that I’m trapped in this thing, but okay.

It’s the beginning of the end. I get the feeling this marriage is going to stick for Darlene, and once her house is finished, she’ll take Harris and Mark and Becky and Beverly Rose too.


Darlene: Ben and I aren’t going to have kids, and he really wants one, and I think Beverly Rose running around the house will be good for him.
Becky: So you’re just using me for my kid.
Darlene: Unless you want to play hide and seek with Ben.

Neville: Does that say never?
Jackie: Yeah, it was a mistake, and the old Jackie would have taken it as a bad sign and freaked out and ruined the whole wedding. But because of you, I can see things in a different way now. So, it stands for never been happier. I’ve never been more optimistic about the future, and I’ll never leave you.