The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 2 Episode 13: "Brothers, Babies, and Breakdowns" Quotes
Ben: But you wouldn’t be doing it by yourself this time. We’d be doing it together.
Darlene: Yeah, that’s what David said.
Ben: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m made of tougher stuff than David, alright. I don’t run when things get hard, I walk slowly like I’m leaving the room to get something. And in case you need more convincing, you asked David to watch your kids for a second and he went to South America for nine years. You cheated on me. You broke my heart and I’m still here.
Ben: Things are going so great between us that having a baby will make it that much better.
Darlene: That just proves you know nothing about how hard it is to raise a kid. I mean, you’ve never been dog tired because the baby won’t sleep or worried out of your mind because you’ve never seen a fever that high and then there’s all the emotional stuff. When they're crying their eyes out because they were bullied or they weren’t invited to the cool party.
Ben: Wouldn’t you love to have a baby?
Darlene: God, no. They’re soul-sucking monsters.
Ben: Okay, I can see you’re on the fence.
Men are all over the map. My Dad buries all of his emotions and you giggle like a pothead watching SpongeBob when you’re with the baby.
Darlene
Just remember you’re the only thing standing between me and sleeping on the street and it’s not just me, it’s Becky and her baby and I’m pretty sure we’re on the hook for a prosthetic finger for Barry.
Jackie
Darlene: This is stupid. Even if I wanted one, he knows I’m like a hundred.
Becky, Hey, you might still have a couple of pterodactyl eggs rolling around in that prehistoric womb of yours.
Darlene: I guess I deserve that for all the jokes I made about your wrinkled uterus.
Ben: I see that you’re one of those Obituary guys, huh?
Dan: Yeah, I always read them hoping somebody died that I owed money to. Just once I’d like to see a credit card company here.
I don’t know how to cook for a whole restaurant unless you want me to breastfeed the entire crowd.
Becky
