The Good Fight
Thursdays on Paramount+The Good Fight Season 5 Quotes
Julius: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is Kurt’s willingness to take a deal?
Diane: He’s not on that scale. That is not an option.
Julius: I am fairly certain I can get him less than one year.
Diane: Why are you even discussing deals? Kurt is innocent.
Julius: So was I, but we decided jail time was the best option. You know as well as I that sometimes it’s not about innocence.
Racehorse: As much as I don’t want to disparage the good doc, it seems her social media popularity was important?
Liz: Objection.
Racehorse: On what grounds.
Liz: General assholery.
Diane: You’re willfully withholding information. Anything you tell me is protected by the firm’s privilege and marital privilege.
Kurt: Then why’d you call the FBI?
Julius: Maybe I should go.
Diane: No, stay. It was the right thing to do. I never thought it would blow back on you.
Marissa: What’s so funny?
Jay: Just how the partners’ ideas on comedy lack…
Marissa: Actual humor.
Mailroom worker: Yeah, and grit and grime. I like my comedy like I like my women.
Marissa: Dirty?
Mailroom worker: No, sharp and mean. When we were kids, we used to cut each other up.
Jay: At my school, we used to crack on each other about everything. If you had a limp, speech impediment, if your hair was too nappy, too straight. If you were fat or looked starved.
Marissa: Are you serious? We peed in a girl’s shampoo bottle.
Mailroom worker: That crosses a line.
Jay: Now it’s like you need a permission slip to tell a joke.
Mailroom worker: That’s why I printed up these. Boom.
Marissa: Oh my god, a permit to tell a joke. I love it.
Jay: Is there anything we can’t do?
Mailroom worker: Necrophilia?
Marissa: No that could be funny.
Jay: Autism.
Mailroom worker: Selena Gomez’s kidney transplant.
Marissa: Why are you interested?
Cord: This is the future. We’re disrupting things, you see -- commerce, travel, communications, currency, now justice. The key isn't the money. The key is I’m bringing cases.
Marissa: To the backroom of a copy store?
Cord: Have you ever seen the garage where they founded Hewlett-Packard? It’s about a fifth the size of this room, and it’s a museum now. It’s our hallowed ground. Twenty years from now this will be a museum. It will be a shrine to justice.
Diane: I should have told you. I’m sorry. But I knew you’d be upset, so I withheld. I was wrong. So what happened? Did you take the fifth? Did she allow it? Kurt?
Kurt: I need a new lawyer.
Julius: Did you get a card on your desk?
Liz: Yeah, mine says good for one joke about little people. What about you?
Julius: White girl clothes.
Liz: Huh, did you use it?
Julius: What does that mean, use it?
Liz: Well, I think it means you’re supposed to use this card to tell one joke.
Julius: Oh I don’t want to tell a joke about white girl clothes.
Liz: All right, then trade me.
Julius: Is this about people making fun of the partners because they think we’re not funny?
Liz: Well, I don’t know. Maybe we need to look for someone with a partners card.
Diane: You can’t be judging cases thrown at you by David Cord if David Cord is financing your court. That is corruption.
Cord: I have absolutely no vested interest in any of these cases. None.
Diane: Well, how is that possible?
Cord: I’m stepping away from my businesses. I want to work on this country. I want to bring it back. I’m retiring.
Wackner: I know my promise won’t do much good here, but I don’t care if Jesus himself financed my court. I’d cash his checks and judge against him. I’m the most untouchable man on earth. You know why? I’ve got nothing to lose and nothing to gain.
Diane: I think it’s time to talk.
Kurt: It wasn’t a legal issue. It was something for work.
Diane: If you’re keeping it from the FBI, it’s a legal issue. Are you not telling me because I’m your lawyer or because I’m your wife?
Kurt: Because your politics.
Diane: Oh come on, turning in insurrectionists should be our politics.
Kurt: Diane, this works between us because we don’t let our political judgments overwhelm our respect for each other.
Diane: Kurt, I lived through eight years of the Tea Party and four years of Trump, but Jan. 6 changed everything for me. I can’t treat this like a chess game anymore.
Kurt: What is the chess game here? Us? This marriage?
Diane: No, that’s the one thing that’s not a game.
Marissa: Well, what’s the case?
Wackner: NFT fraud.
Marissa: I don’t know what that is.
Wackner: Non-fungible token. Someone sold a painting that was an NFT fake, and they’re suing them for $4 million.
Marissa: You’re hearing a case involving $4 million?
Wackner: It’s a jury trial.
Marissa: OK, but that’s… this was cute when it was the people’s court, but why would anyone agree to let you decide?
Wackner: Signed and notarized. Both sides will honor the jury’s verdict.
Marissa: But this was notarized in your fictional court by you about a fictional case.
Wackner: About a fictional crime -- faking an NFT. Marissa, it seems there are some last-remaining braincells in there that are unwilling to climb onboard. This is a court. In fact, it’s better than a court. A court is defined by the justice it administers, not by the ceremony it displays. So come on. I bought your services from your law firm. I have a chair for you out there. It has your name on it. What else do you need?
Nancy: Diane, such a pleasure to face you in court. Do you have a minute?
Diane: Ms. Crozier…
Nancy: Nancy’s fine.
Diane: If this is the moment you impress me with all the evidence you have against my husband and suggest he cope a plea, we can do that right here.
Nancy: Certainly. Dylan Pike says Kurt is not only concealing the names of insurrectionists, but that he was the ringleader of those insurrectionists.
Diane: Really? The accused man you threatened with prison threw someone else under the bus. How novel.
Nancy: Diane, if I were your husband, I’d talk. Mr. Pike seemed very convincing, and we know how these things work. The first person who talks gets a deal. The last person who talks gets prison, 20 years to be specific.
