No, shut up for a sec! I'm not a Buddhist monk. My name is Jason Mendoza. I'm a DJ from Florida, and I'm not supposed to be here! You gotta help me out, homie. I'm scared.

Jason

• Permalink: I'm a DJ from Florida, and I'm not supposed to be here!
• Added: October 09, 2019

I'm probably just going to mess it up like I messed things up with Janet.

Jason

• Permalink: I'm probably just going to mess it up.
• Added: October 09, 2019

Michael: This is all good news. Right, team leader?
Eleanor: Yeah, it's super cool that I'm actively surveilling and manipulating an ex-boyfriend. I mean, more so than I usually did.

• Permalink: I'm actively surveilling and manipulating an ex-boyfriend.
• Added: October 02, 2019

Chidi, you and Simone are soulmates.

Eleanor

• Permalink: Chidi, you and Simone are soulmates.
• Added: October 02, 2019

Janet: I can't be in a relationship with you right now. Being with you is fun, but it's not always easy and I'm afraid it would endanger the experiment.
Jason: It won't though.
Janet: Jason, it already has.

• Permalink: I can't be in a relationship with you right now.
• Added: October 02, 2019

You think you can't do this? Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this. Like it or not, the only one who can save humanity is a girl from Arizona.

Michael

• Permalink: Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this.
• Added: October 02, 2019

The things that are happening here are above my paygrade! How do I get Brent to stop being such a deckhead? How do I fix Simone when she's convinced all of this is happening inside of her brain? Oh! Maybe I should drive her into the arms of my ex-boyfriend. That sounds fun. What do I do about John the gossip king? Or the demon spy who punched me in the face? And how do I do it all with a pleasant smile to keep everyone's spirits up?! I'm not meant for this! I'm not the freakin' savior of the universe! I'm just a girl from Arizona.

Eleanor

• Permalink: I'm just a girl from Arizona.
• Added: October 02, 2019

I didn't ask for this! I'm only doing it because Michael, who is supposed to be in charge, had a nervous breakdown the second it started! But, maybe you can do it better than me. Tahani can be in charge since she's so smart. Or better yet, Jason, maybe all of humanity can be saved with one good old fashioned Jacksonville carnival.

Eleanor

• Permalink: But, maybe you can do it better than me.
• Added: October 02, 2019

Brent: This chaos is clearly all about me. This is the universe telling me that I don't belong here.
Michael: Brent, what do you mean?
Brent: I don't belong in the Good Place. I mean, obviously there's a place better than this. I belong there. In the Best Place.

• Permalink: I belong there. In the Best Place.
• Added: October 02, 2019

Jason: So you're saying wanting to do something isn't a good reason to immediately do it? Man, I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.
Michael: People tried. Mostly judges.

• Permalink: Man, I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.
• Added: October 02, 2019

I feel a little inadequate.

Chidi

• Permalink: I feel a little inadequate.
• Added: October 02, 2019

Eleanor: Welcome to the Good Place, Chidi.
Chidi: Thank you so much. And I'm sorry. This has been so overwhelming I forgot your name.
Eleanor: Eleanor.

• Permalink: I forgot your name.
• Added: September 25, 2019