Michael: Where'd you get that information?
Oscar: Manual.
Michael: Manuel who?

• Permalink: Where'd you get that information? Manual. Manuel who?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Employee of the month. Every awesome place I've worked at had one ... Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG... my summer at Enron.

Andy

• Permalink: Employee of the month. Every awesome place I've worked at had on...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

• Permalink: What flavor is that? Coconut Penis.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Hahaha. Tea.
Andy: I like tea.
Kevin: You WOULD.
Andy: I like it a lot!
Kevin: I bet you do.
Andy: I REALLY like it!
Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?!
Andy: What?
Kevin: 'Cause you're GAY!

• Permalink: Hahaha. Tea. I like tea. You WOULD. I like it a lot! I b...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me, and she still hates me, so...

Pam

• Permalink: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thi...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Hey Stanley, is that jacket made of updog?
Stanley: I'm on the phone.

• Permalink: Hey Stanley, is that jacket made of updog? I'm on the phone.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. [laughs] No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.

Dwight

• Permalink: Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointmen...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: What else was there?
Jim: Bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. We never found that bottom did we?

• Permalink: What else was there? Bottomless champagne. Yes. We never fou...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.

Creed

• Permalink: Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.

Michael

• Permalink: I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your com...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

[to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid.

Meredith

• Permalink: Don't fall in love with me, kid.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Meredith: About what?
Toby: Your outfit.
Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Toby: You ... might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ... it's riding up a little high.
Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes?
Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out.
Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again]
Angela: Meredith, too far!
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual day. Happy?

• Permalink: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second? About...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0