The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Episode 20: "Colonel Homer" Quotes
Marge: Well, what are we going to see?
Bart: Ernest Cuts The Cheese!
Lisa: Honey I Hit A School Bus!
Homer: Look Who's Oinking, Look Who's Oinking!
Marge: Since we'll never agree, why don't you kids pick a movie, your dad and I will pick a movie, then we'll all meet in the lobby later?
Bart/Lisa: Thanks mom!
Homer: Two tickets for...
Guy: Lemme guess... Look Who's Oinking?
Homer: That's right!
Guy: Sold out!
Lisa: Just tell me when the scary part is over!
Bart: It's over....
Lisa: Aaaaaaaah!
Homer: Ooh, there's a good one!
Marge: That spot says compact only!
Homer: Marge, that's just the suggestion car size...easy...easy... how am I doing on the right?
Lisa: Um, we're getting a lot of sparks over here, dad!
Homer: Uh huh, easy...easy...mmm perfect, alright everybody out the window!
Marge, it takes two to lie...one to lie and one to listen.
This is K-U-D-D 570 AM. Hey, don't touch that dial, you've got KUDD on it.
DJ
Homer: Marge, you're standing in the way of my boyhood dream of managing a beautiful country singer.
Marge: You're boyhood dream was to eat the world's biggest hoagie and you did it at the county fair last year, remember? (Marge holds up a photo of homer eating a giant hoagie)
Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man?
Homer: Calm down, Marge, it's just our life savings. I'm not going into hock for this.
Marge, you make it sound so seamy. All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
Lurleen, I can't get your song out of my mind. I haven't felt this way since "Funky Town!"
Lurleen: My name's Lurleen Lumpkin.
Homer: That's a pretty name.
Lurleen: Oh, you think so?
Homer: Maybe. I'm not sure. I forgot it.
(on a mechanical bull) Ach! How come no one else's chair is doin' this?!
Willy
Homer: I got you a gig on TV.
Lurleen: Oh Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: Hey!! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
