Homer: (On phone with Bart) Now make sure we have plenty of cold cuts, and put some beer on ice--
Michael: Um, Homer, I'm a vegetarian, and I don't drink.
Homer: Are you sure you're here voluntarily?

• Permalink: Now make sure we have plenty of cold cuts, and put some beer on ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Lisa, it's your birthday.
God bless you this day.
You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
I wish you love and good will.
I wish you peace and joy.
I wish you better than your heart desires.
And your first kiss from a boy.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Lisa.

's song to Lisa

• Permalink: Lisa, it's your birthday. God bless you this day. You gave m...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Bart: Milhouse can you keep a secret?
Milhouse: No.
Bart: Oh well who cares, Michael Jackson is coming to my house!!

• Permalink: Milhouse can you keep a secret? No. Oh well who cares, Micha...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.

Bart

• Permalink: Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, c...
• Added: February 18, 2010

(about Homer being in a mental institution) Oh my God, Mother was right!

Marge

• Permalink: Oh my God, Mother was right!
• Added: February 18, 2010

Guy with Mustache: Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave the house. I just couldn't.
Homer: Was the door locked?
Guy with Mustache: No, I just couldn't face what was out there.
Homer: Was it raining?

• Permalink: Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave th...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Bart: (Answering phone) Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em!
Homer: Boy! When I get home, I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck--
(The mental doctors suddenly gasp and look at Homer.)
Homer: --and smother you with kisses.
Bart: Dad, whatever they got you on, cut the dose!

• Permalink: Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em! Boy! When I get ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different!

Homer

• Permalink: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white ...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Marge: Bart, I asked you to watch your sister.
Bart: I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me!

• Permalink: Bart, I asked you to watch your sister. I tried to stop her, b...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.

Bart

• Permalink: Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to th...
• Added: February 18, 2010

The training wheels, come off your bike, you start to notice boys you like, a-hee hee hee.

Michael Jackson (Leon)

• Permalink: The training wheels, come off your bike, you start to notice boy...
• Added: February 18, 2010

Bart: Lisa, her teeth are big and green, Lisa, she smells like gasoline, Lisa, da-da-da disa, she is my sister, her birthday, I missed-ah!
Michael Jackson (Leon): Uh, no.

• Permalink: Lisa, her teeth are big and green, Lisa, she smells like gasolin...
• Added: February 18, 2010