Homer: Isn't that sweet, six years ago they were fighting, now they're playing pool in a bar.
Moe: Father of the year, pal, father of the year.

• Permalink: Father of the year, pal, father of the year.
• Added: April 26, 2015

Bart: I saved you.
Lisa: But you pushed me!
Bart: Duh, I couldn't save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.

• Permalink: Duh, I couldn't save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.
• Added: April 26, 2015

Lisa: I was pretending, and it worked!
Bart: You know kid, with your smarts and my Barts, we make a good team!
Lisa: What are Barts?
Bart: You're the smart one, you figure it out.

• Permalink: You're the smart one, you figure it out.
• Added: April 26, 2015

Maude: My bladder's going to burst.
Ned: Now I know you've had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk.

• Permalink: Now I know you've had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk.
• Added: April 26, 2015

Marge: What are we going to do?
Homer: It's not so bad sweety, I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has ever gotten out of therapy.

• Permalink: It's not so bad sweety, I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has...
• Added: April 26, 2015

Lisa: Remember when Apu let dad have the expired hot dog?
Homer: Just once and I'm still taking medication for it.

• Permalink: Just once and I'm still taking medication for it.
• Added: April 26, 2015