The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

This looks like a discount for...Bartman!

Bart

Fallout Boy: Gee, Radioactive Man. When can I smoke Laramies?
Radioactive Man: (Laughs) Ahh, not until you're sixteen.

(To earn money for his comic book, Marge suggests that Bart get a job.)
Bart: Me!?
Wonder Years Voice: Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away...forever.
Homer: Bart! What are you staring at?
Bart: Uh...nothing.
Wonder Years Voice: He didn't say it and neither did I, but at that moment, my dad and I were closer than we ever--
Homer: Bart! Stop that!
Bart: Sorry!

Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
(And so on until...)
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!!! Now look, son, we all know that usually when you bug me like this, I give in, so I'm not mad at you for trying. It shows you've been paying attention. But we all know I'm not going to give you $100! Now are you going to stop bugging me?
Bart: No!
Homer: Are you?
Bart: No!
Homer: Are you?
Bart: No!
(And so on until...)
Homer: Are you?
Bart: (frustrated) Okay!
Homer: (triumphant) Hee hee! I win! In your face! (punches Bart's shoulder) Yeah! How do you like them apples?

Marge: Homer, it's really coming down! Could you check on the boys?
(Homer sees Bart and Milhouse fighting in the treehouse as lightning flashes nearby)
Homer: They're fine.

Bart: We worked so hard and now it's all gone. We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share.
Milhouse: What's your point?
Bart: Nothing, just kinda ticks me off.

(after he sniffed the comic book) It smells like my Grandpa.

Milhouse

Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful--
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid.

Homer: Hey, when I was your age, 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart: Really?
Homer: Naah!

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.

A hundred bucks?! For a comic book! Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?

Homer

(Bart, Milhouse, and Martin discuss their ownership of the comic)
Martin: How about this, guys? Bart can have it Mondays and Thursdays, Milhouse will get it Tuesdays and Fridays, and yours truly will take it Wednesdays and Saturdays.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about Sundays?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about Sundays?
Martin: Well, Sunday possession will be determined by a random number generator. I will take the digits 1 through 3, Milhouse will have 4 through 6, and Bart will have 7 through 9.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about 0?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about 0?
Milhouse: Yeah!
Martin: Well, in the unlikely event of a 0, possession will be determined by rock scissors paper competition, best 3 out of 5, how's that?
(Bart and Milhouse agree.)

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

Who would have thought that pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory could be such a thrill? The screams! The humiliation! The fact that it wasn't me! I've never felt so alive.

Martin

Bart: (prays) Well, old-timer, I guess this is the end of the road. I know I haven't always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow, I'll fail the test and be held back. I just need one more day to study, Lord. I need your help.
Lisa: (spying on Bart) Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.
Bart: A teachers' strike, a power failure, a blizzard. Anything that'll cancel school tomorrow. I know it's asking a lot, but if anyone can do it, You can. Thanking You in advance, Your pal, Bart Simpson.

The Simpsons Season 2 Photos

  1. Shows
  2. The Simpsons
  3. The Simpsons Season 2
  4. The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes
  5. Page 2