This country is so historic, for all we know Jesus could have given a talk in conference room C.


Ned: Our bible study group is going to the holy land next month. I'd like to take you and your family along as my guests.
Homer: Hmm, let me think. Take my family to a war zone on a bus filled with religious lameos in a country with no pork in a desert with no casinos. Where do I sign up?
Marge: Homer, I can hear your sarcasm from inside the house and the dishwasher is on.

Reverend Lovejoy: God has never given up on anyone
Ned: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Reverend Lovejoy: He lovingly destroyed them.

Ned: Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord.
Agnes: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo: Hey, as a youth if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am out of here.

Hey, Willie, does he taste like failure?!

Bart [about Skinner]

Nikki: I know CPR!
Bart: Nikki, no! I prefer a dead child to a law suit from your parents.

Michelle Obama: That's right, Lisa, as an avid organic gardner I've read your blog.
Lisa: Flotus1 is First Lady of the United States, one.
Michelle Obama: Yes, I wanted just flotus, but someone had it.
Ralph: That's me because I swim with my flotuses on.

By now you've haard that one of our fourth graders did something that 100 years ago would have been completely innocent but in today's over litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.

Superintendent Chalmers

Homer: We'll be sued into the poor house and we'll be forced to eat garbage the rest of our lives.
Bart: That's no problem, mom can make garbage taste great.
Marge: Thank you.
Bart: I mean it.
Marge: And it means the world to me.

Bart: I need to talk about man stuff.
Homer: Talk to grampa, he used to be a man.
Bart: He did?

I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.


Bart: Where's Mrs. K?
Principal Skinner: Mrs. Krabappel had to go to Portland. Apparently the people she hired to deprogram her sister from that cult were an even worse cult.

The Simpsons Season 21 Quotes

Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?

I played hardball with hollywood, the closest i will ever come to playing a sport in my life

Comic Book Guy