Smithers: Who's...Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.

Homer: Hey, Flanders! You smell like manure!
Ned Flanders: Uh oh...better cancel that dinner party tonight! Thanks for the nose news neighbor.

Smithers: Sir, I've arranged for the people of Australia to join hands tonight and spell out your name with candles. There's a satellite hookup on that monitor if you turn your head slightly.
Mr. Burns: Bah, no time.

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.

Homer: Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
Lady: Quiet you awful man.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
Mr. Burns: Whaaat?
Homer: I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
Mr. Burns: How dare you!

Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don't you?
Mr. Burns: Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime...nggg...nyeeh. Resistance is futile!

Bart: Hey Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it!
Apu: Oooh, a head bag! Those are chock-full of... heady goodness!

Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. (Smithers is wearing a bear suit) It's me sir, Bobo, hug me, squeeze me, tug at my fur!

Smithers

Huuuuh! How long have we had these fish. Wait...the bear. Burns' bear!

Homer

(Homer daydreams about having his own recording studio)
Homer: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed buuuuuunnn... (drools)
Guy: Homer, you're drooling on the mike again.
(When we return to reality, Homer is still drooling)

I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward...and then we'll make him double it! Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?

Marge

Homer: Mmmm... 64 slices of American cheese.
(sits down at the table with the stack of slices)
Homer: 64... (eats it) 63... (eats it)
(The next morning)
Homer: Two... (eats it very slowly) one... (eats it)
(Marge walks in)
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: (slurred) I think I'm blind...

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

(Apu returns to work at the Kwik-E-Mart)
Apu: It may not be glamorous, but it's good honest work.
Customer: How much is this quart of milk?
Apu: Twelve dollars.

Groundskeeper Willie:(Singing) When you're alone, and life is getting you lonely, ye can always go, ACK! Doontoon.
Apu: Next