Weeds Quotes
Andy: If you don't cum, the terrorists win.
Audra: We can't have that.
I screwed up my kids.
Nancy
Shane: Shane: Aaargh! Fuck you, fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver.
Silas: Silas: I get it. If I get shot in my jerk-off arm, I would be mad too.
Nancy: I think I'm happy for you.
Andy: I think I'm happy for you, too.
Be the baby!
Nancy [asking Andy to suck her nipple]
Nancy: Why is the bed moving?
Andy: There must be an earthquake.
Nancy: Are you jerking off?!?
Esteban: Our son will be baptized by a priest in a church
Nancy: Sorry, he's Jewish. Snip, snip. Eat fish. Start saving for law school
Andy [about Audra]: She likes me
Gale: She's gonna burn in hell for all eternity
Andy: Well I'd rather laugh with the sinners, Gale
Gale: For now...
Silas [about baby Botwin]: He's kind of cute
Shane: Who cares? He's probably just gonna want to play soccer
Dean: My rate is five hundred dollars an hour
Doug: Wooo... that better include a rim job
Pilar: Do you know why I've never had children?
Nancy: Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?
