Weeds Quotes
Shane: Why don't you sell something people want.
Celia: Like what?
Shane: Like drugs.
Andy: Esteban seems like the type to just throw you on the table and f-ck you.
Nancy: That works, too.
Andy: See, we'd never have worked. I'm not rape-y enough for you.
Andy, on his sexual technique: The key is to focus on where the sidewalk ends.
Nancy: I know. I'm a girl.
Come and see me. Hope you're good. And please don't have a scraggly moonshiner beard unless you plan on starting a cult. In which case, go beard
Nancy [to Andy on phone next to him]
Nancy: You're guzzling coffee?
Shane: Ignacio says it puts hair on you chest
Nancy: Right and spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo
Nancy [talking about the ring from Esteban]: You notice anything different? about my hand?
Shane: Oh yeah. he said he was going to ask you.
Nancy: He told you?
Shane: We had an hombre to hombre talk... much respect... I'm cool
We used to call [getting an abortion] "going to Van Nuys." Probably because the clinic was located in Van Nuys.
Andy
Your kid has a one in five chance of being Autistic - and I don't mean the cool kind of Autistic.
Andy
Is it ok to impersonate your dead brother and pseudo-steal some money if you're gonna use the cash for the family's greater good?
Andy
Shane: You stuck your penis inside my mother at least once.
Nancy: Ok, then. Good night, Shane. Go upstairs.
Silas: So, you're the mayor of Mexico or something?
Esteban: Or something, yes.
They were going to sell my gallbladder to the Japanese. Fortunately, my body is a toxic pit.
Celia
