Wynonna Earp
Fridays 10:00 PM on SyFyWynonna Earp Quotes
Rachel: That’s a lot.
Nicole: Jeezus, Rachel. Respect the privacy of the…
Waverly: The kitchen.
Nicole: Right.
Rachel: Whatever. Do you think a junkyard would be a good place to look for a magic sword-gun?
Waverly: One man’s trash is another Earp’s treasure.
Nicole: Yeah, where is this junkyard?
Rachel: Easier if I show you, but you’re gonna need pants.
Glory Hole owner: Everybody knows you’re Wynonna Earp’s man, or is Wynonna Earp your woman?
Doc: Wynonna is no one but her own. Besides, what is it to you?
Glory Hole owner: Stand down big boy. All it is to me is interesting. You are the Earps most loyal protector, and yet the thing that more recently turned your body into weapon most able to protect them, you deny.
Rachel: What do you have for me?
Billy: The holy grail: Bunny Loblah for PTA.
Doc: You saw Jeremy, and you didn’t tell me.
Wynonna: Literally just happened. He’s fine.
Doc: He’s probably a hostage, for which you have just bought into Black Badge’s gaslighting. Rule No. 1, Wynonna: We do not work for the enemy.
Wynonna: We both know that Rule No. 1 is triple check the birth control.
Nicole: And we’re on the floor.
Waverly: Yeah, how did that happened?
Nicole: Determination.
Waverly: There’s a notebook stuck to my butt.
Nicole: Maybe don’t give that one out.
Wynonna: Jeremy. What happened to your gorgeous little chicken limbs?
Jeremy: And a fun hi, former colleagues. Naomi, so sorry, I know her. This is the Wynonna Arp.
Wynonna: Why does everyone keep saying it like that?
Jeremy: Employee of the month June 2016.
Wynonna: It was February, actually.
Naomi: It’s the shortest month.
Jeremy: Don’t worry. Wynonna hates demons, like we all do.
Wynonna: Hell yeah, brother. I despise them dems.
Jeremy: But she’s never killed one, of course.
Wynonna: No, nope, because they are a lot.
Naomi: But you are familiar with the supernatural?
Wynonna: I feel like I can handle it.
Nicole: We could just start.
Waverly: But my PowerPoint.
Nicole: They’re always iconic.
Waverly: I do put a lot of thought into my wipes.
Nicole: I love your wipes.
Doc: Do not commit such a childish act.
Wynonna: You want to see childish. How about this? Is childish… To prove a very adult point, a very grownup, sexy point.
Doc: Wynonna, give me the keys.
Wynonna: My wiener has them. They’re on the driver. Speaking of wieners, I bet those crates have condoms.
Doc: I got some tools in my car. It is up the road. I shall grab them, and I suppose I shall liberate you too.
Waverly: If they think they’re going to lock up my sister for the maybe murder of my favorite sheriff – present company accepted of course…
Nicole: Present company not the sheriff.
Waverly: Yeah, what the hell’s that about?
Nicole: Yeah, you haven’t met the ‘they’ yet.
Waverly: Nicole, I am going to go to town and I am gonna kick so much ass, I might go up a shoe size.
Nicole: God, I missed you, Waverly Earp.
Wynonna: This is a Russian doll of suckage. Inside an arbitrary border, there’s a hellmouth. Inside that’s a demon bush party. Inside that is a jail, and inside that, I’m at the mercy of a Dukes of Hazard reject who wouldn’t know justice if it spatowed him in his butter sculpture face.
Clayborne: Ms. Earp, you have a visitor.
Wynonna: Good. Give me a heads up next time.
Casey: You were in the zone.
Vacation is over assholes. It is time for a Holliday.
Doc
Waverly: I am issuing a writ of habeas corpus.
Wynonna: No. These dick pickles are going to have to show us a body.
Waverly: That is literally what habeas corpus means.
Clayborne: You two want to let me know when you’re done slap fighting because I got a hell of a backlog.
Wynonna: Oh, you’ve got a backlog? Buddy, apparently I haven’t pooped in 18 months. I have a backlog.
