Wynonna Earp
Fridays 10:00 PM on SyFyWynonna Earp Quotes
Wynonna: People will find out, about the contest, about you not keeping your word.
Cleo: One, how are they going to find out, and two, what does an Earp know about keeping their word, huh? That is priceless. You are a hilar…
Wynonna: So this is personal.
Cleo: No, see this? This is hereditary, daughter of Earps. Besides, I have to keep feeding something to this monster or whatever it is to keep it out of town. You see, Sheriff Holt and I, we know what it takes to get dirty jobs done, and if that dirty job happens to be you, bonus. Now scream.
Wynonna: Eat my vegan seitan.
Cleo: See, they lied. You’re not even fun.
Wynonna: This is a Russian doll of suckage. Inside an arbitrary border, there’s a hellmouth. Inside that’s a demon bush party. Inside that is a jail, and inside that, I’m at the mercy of a Dukes of Hazard reject who wouldn’t know justice if it spatowed him in his butter sculpture face.
Clayborne: Ms. Earp, you have a visitor.
Wynonna: Good. Give me a heads up next time.
Casey: You were in the zone.
Nedley: Wynonna, what did they do?
Wynonna: You survived Nedley. That’s what you did. You made it home.
Nedley: Fuck yeah.
Waverly: I am issuing a writ of habeas corpus.
Wynonna: No. These dick pickles are going to have to show us a body.
Waverly: That is literally what habeas corpus means.
Clayborne: You two want to let me know when you’re done slap fighting because I got a hell of a backlog.
Wynonna: Oh, you’ve got a backlog? Buddy, apparently I haven’t pooped in 18 months. I have a backlog.
Doc: It is good to see you, Sheriff Haught.
Nicole: These days it’s just Nicole or that crazy ginger bitch.
Wynonna: Who are you?
Clayborne: You can call me the sheriff.
Wynonna: And you can call me an Uber.
Rachel: Sup?
Waverly: Ah.
Valdez, Rachel Valdez.
Waverly: Hi, I, uh…
Rachel: Cold?
Waverly: Frozen. I mean, I’m practically Elsa. I had no idea you were…
Rachel: Kombucha?
Waverly: Pardon?
Rachel: I make it myself, and after last night, I bet you need some hydration.
Waverly: Mhmmm, microbes.
Waverly: How could we have been in that Garden for a year and a half?
Doc: We were not. Time must be differentiated, fluid in some manner.
Waverly: Yeah, god, it’s such a mindfrog. I mean, how old even am I? Ah, I missed so many “Property Brothers.”
Doc: I feel that.
Vacation is over assholes. It is time for a Holliday.
Doc
Doc: Someone has been handing out hemp neckties.
Wynonna: That’s a clear fashion don’t. Who the hell and why?
Doc: Frontier justice: Retribution must not only be paid. It must be seen to be paid.
Wynonna: The old timey version of ‘pics or it didn’t happen.’
Waverly: If they think they’re going to lock up my sister for the maybe murder of my favorite sheriff – present company accepted of course…
Nicole: Present company not the sheriff.
Waverly: Yeah, what the hell’s that about?
Nicole: Yeah, you haven’t met the ‘they’ yet.
Waverly: Nicole, I am going to go to town and I am gonna kick so much ass, I might go up a shoe size.
Nicole: God, I missed you, Waverly Earp.
Wynonna: Those things are everywhere.
Rachel: Those things used to be brilliant physicists. They were working on an interdimensional gateway.
Wynonna: To the Garden?
Rachel: Whatever it was Black Badge was trying to weaponize it. once they actually got the thing to open, BBD panicked and gassed everyone.
Wynonna: It’s the 2005 chili cook off all over again, minus the edibles I scored and riding ‘Hollaback Girl’ on repeat.
Rachel: You might be even weirder than me, and my best friend for six months has been a rat.
