Looks like that dry spell's about to end. Try not to blow a hole through her back.

Jimmy

• Permalink: Looks like that dry spell's about to end. Try not to blow a hole through her back.
• Added: October 28, 2015

[dressed as Steven Spielberg] Excuse me, sir. I don't mean to be too forward but you have caught me with your 'Hook.' You're at the top of my 'Schindler's List.' My loins are 'Terminal'-y always 'The Color Purple' for you. So please, open your 'Jaws' and make out with me. 'Munich.'

Dorothy

• Permalink: Excuse me, sir. I don't mean to be too forward but you have...
• Added: October 28, 2015

Gretchen: So why did you put a murder tour on your list?
Edgar: Psh, I'm totally into murder. I love it so much I became a soldier, you can murder anyone you want.

• Permalink: Psh, I'm totally into murder. I love it so much I became a soldier, you can murder anyone you...
• Added: October 28, 2015

Gretchen: You even quit Ralph's Rewards Club because you couldn't handle the commitment.
Lindsay: What, I'm gonna carry one of those shitty little plastic cards on my keychain like a poor?

• Permalink: What, I'm gonna carry one of those shitty little plastic cards on my keychain like a poor?
• Added: October 28, 2015

A doctor costume for ladies? [scoffs] Fake.

Lindsay

• Permalink: A doctor costume for ladies? Fake.
• Added: October 28, 2015

Lindsay: Why are you in a wheelchair? Did Amy do this to you?
Paul: I'm Stephen Hawking! The famous cosmologist.
Lindsay: A crippled guy does makeup?

• Permalink: A crippled guy does makeup?
• Added: October 28, 2015

Gretchen: And who knows? With the right attitude, this could be a really fun adventure for everyone. So the only thing I need from you is to not make a big deal of it and be okay with how I am and the fact that you can't fix me.
Jimmy: Can't I, though? I got that mouse.

• Permalink: Can't I, though? I got that mouse.
• Added: October 22, 2015

Wear your stains on the outsides of your clothes, Gretch.

Lindsay

• Permalink: Wear your stains on the outsides of your clothes, Gretch.
• Added: October 22, 2015

HA! Vernon, ya burnt!

Vernon

• Permalink: HA! Vernon, ya burnt!
• Added: October 22, 2015

My childhood home had mice. I thought nothing of it. One day my mate Daniel spent the night and he woke up to a mouse chewing on his nipple. From then on everybody called me Mouseboy. My dad even. And it was his disgusting house...

Jimmy

• Permalink: My childhood home had mice. I thought nothing of it. One day my mate Daniel spent the night...
• Added: October 22, 2015

And really, let's be honest. Becca's just milking this shit so she can be a 24/7 snack monster and Jabba all over the place. She won't even let me do her anymore because she's afraid the baby might come out whack. Shit -- I don't want some whack ass baby. But I have needs. Anyway, I appreciate your staying discrete.

Vernon

• Permalink: And really, let's be honest. Becca's just milking this shit so she can be a 24/7 snack...
• Added: October 22, 2015

Edgar: You guys would probably like each other a lot. You both like naps. Dorothy, tell Lindsay about that nap you took the other day?
Dorothy: I napped in a sunbeam.

• Permalink: I napped in a sunbeam.
• Added: October 22, 2015