Oh my god, Gretch, it is literally 'Nam out there! There was so much traffic I got through three whole episodes of the Just Farts podcast. And then, I got to the thing and they wouldn't let me through the people so I abandoned my car and walked past the people and they yelled at me. And then some Asian boy gave me a cup of Gatorade which was weird. And then I walked all the way here, uphill, and then I died. I'm dead.

Lindsay

• Permalink: Oh my god, Gretch, it is literally 'Nam out there! There was so much traffic I got through...
• Added: October 22, 2015

In what world is a freeloader allowed to invite someone else to stay? That'd be like Kato Kaelin inviting someone to live in an even tinier little guest house.

Jimmy

• Permalink: In what world is a freeloader allowed to invite someone else to stay? That'd be like Kato...
• Added: October 22, 2015

Yeah, if he's [the mouse's] not bothering anyone, who cares that he's here?

Gretchen

• Permalink: Yeah, if he's not bothering anyone, who cares that he's here?
• Added: October 22, 2015

Gretchen: We're adults! We can walk.
[Everyone laughs]
Jimmy: What are we, New Yorkers? [fake New York accent] Oh, fuhgeddaboudit, let's walk and get a pizza bagel with Mayor Goo-liani!

• Permalink: What are we, New Yorkers? Oh, fuhgeddaboudit, let's walk and get a...
• Added: October 22, 2015

Gretchen: Oh, I know you.
Dorothy: Oh, you do?
Gretchen: Yeah... you're a theater girl.

• Permalink: Yeah... you're a theater girl.
• Added: October 22, 2015

Jimmy: I mean, the phrase doesn't translate easily to English but it means that there is not currently a problem.
Gretchen: So would you say it's a... problem-free philosophy?
Jimmy: That's a tad simplistic but--
Gretchen: OK, so it's like... no worries for the rest of your days?

• Permalink: OK, so it's like... no worries for the rest of your days?
• Added: October 22, 2015

Jimmy: Hakuna ma-ta-ta!
Gretchen: Did you just quote The Lion King to me?
Jimmy: The lion what? No, it's a Swahili phrase.

• Permalink: The lion what? No, it's a Swahili phrase.
• Added: October 22, 2015

Who's the rando?

Lindsay

• Permalink: Who's the rando?
• Added: October 21, 2015

Edgar: Hey, um, so listen... I think you're funny and cute and I'd like to take you on a date with me for a date.
Dorothy: [amused] Is this a bit?
Edgar: I don't think so, but I'm still not 100% sure what a bit is.

• Permalink: I don't think so, but I'm still not 100% sure what a bit is.
• Added: October 14, 2015

Lindsay: [panicked] My toast is still bread, Paul. What's happening?
Paul: Have you been paying the utilities?
Lindsay: You need to come help me.
Paul: Why haven't you cashed any of the checks I've sent?
Lindsay: Cash a check? Who am I, Lee Iacocca?

• Permalink: Cash a check? Who am I, Lee Iacocca?
• Added: October 14, 2015

Jimmy: You just look a little tired.
Gretchen: [offended] Cool. Thanks. Your dick's a weird color. Catch up again tomorrow?

• Permalink: Cool. Thanks. Your dick's a weird color. Catch up again tomorrow?
• Added: October 14, 2015

Edgar: You mean just ask [Dorothy] out?
Jimmy: No, get her hammered and finger-bang her in your car.

• Permalink: No, get her hammered and finger-bang her in your car.
• Added: October 14, 2015